#worst female hairdos

[yeahiwasintheshit]

Tea

[mariacallous]

In early September, Warner Bros. released a teaser for A Minecraft Movie, the studio’s new film based on Mojang’s nearly 15-year-old sandbox game. Directed by Napoleon Dynamite helmer Jared Hess, it was, frankly, very goofy. Jack Black was Steve; Jason Momoa was sporting maybe the worst hairdo he’s ever had. Everyone involved, even the animated creatures, seemed to think they were in a different movie.

But that wasn’t what the trolls latched onto. Instead, they fixed on the fact that a Black woman—Orange Is the New Black’s Danielle Brooks—was in the Overworld.

As the trailer racked up dislikes, right-wing influencers like Elijah Schaffer and Nick Fuentes posted Brooks’ image next to disparaging comments and made references to “forced diversity” and “woke” Hollywood. It was Gamergate 2.0—a reimagining of the decade-old harassment campaign aimed at rallying against diversity, equity, and inclusion—but aimed at a kids’ movie, rather than a video game.

According to Wendy Via, cofounder and CEO of the Global Project Against Hate and Extremism, which just published a report looking at the far right’s racist comments about the trailer, the response comes from a new, and also quite old, playbook. “Large-scale campaigns against trailers specifically are a relatively new phenomenon, but attempting to frame ‘wokeness’ as an invisible enemy infiltrating the entertainment industry is not,” Via says.

Via points out that back in spring of 2023, the far-right X account End Wokeness made similar noise about a “Protect Trans Kids” flag that appeared briefly in the trailer for Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse. The goal of these campaigns is to target “spaces where young, white men are influenced,” like sci-fi movies and video games, which appeal to younger audiences, Via adds. “Providing racist and homophobic commentary on popular franchises through large social media platforms like Twitter and YouTube serves as an effective means to propagandize and recruit young people to hate movements.”

Take, for example, The Acolyte. Earlier this year, the Disney+ show found itself the target of fan backlash while star Amandla Stenberg was subjected to racist comments online. So, too, was Kelly Marie Tran, who played Rose Tico in the most recent Star Wars movie trilogy. The minimizing of her role in the last installment, The Rise of Skywalker, perhaps emboldened diversity detractors further.

Reception of The Acolyte seemed, almost, to be a solidification. Fan unrest in the Star Wars universe is a cousin to, if not a direct descendant of, Gamergate, and since former Trump White House strategist Steve Bannon harnessed the energy of that movement and used it to fuel the then burgeoning so-called alt-right, influencers have used similar tactics to convince aggrieved men that their games, their shows and movies, and their country are somehow being taken from them.

By the time the Minecraft Movie trailer dropped, the script was already set. Influencers just had to pick which lines to say.

Whereas 2014’s rallying cry was a more broadly misogynistic, racist one, the Gamergate of 2024 seems focused on the idea of the “DEI hire”—a woman, LGBTQ+ or BIPOC person who ends up blamed for “ruining” something. Pundits used this language to attack Vice President Kamala Harris. Right-wing talking heads pointed the finger at female Secret Service agents for not fully protecting Trump during the July attempt on his life. Fans have lobbed it at the inclusion of a Black samurai in Assassin’s Creed Shadows.

Campaigning against diversity in games came into particular focus earlier this year when Sweet Baby Inc., a Canadian consultancy, became the focus of a group of players upset at what they viewed as the “wokeification” of video games. Online harassment of the company’s employees hit new heights last winter when a Steam curation group called Sweet Baby Inc Detected popped up purporting to list all the games the company had advised on, giving people an easy way to boycott certain titles or post bad reviews of them. Even though the company hadn’t touched several of the games, and as founder Kim Belair told WIRED this winter, the company “[doesn’t] want forced diversification either,” the harassing comments continued for months.

On September 4, the same day the Minecraft Movie trailer went up, the US Department of Justice unsealed an indictment against two employees of the state-backed Russian news network RT, in which it alleged that they had secretly funded the right-wing influencer network Tenet Media. The DOJ accused the company of posting content full of Kremlin-approved talking points, though individual influencers working for Tenet say they knew nothing about the ties to Russia and are not accused of wrongdoing. A WIRED analysis of Tenet’s videos, since taken down by YouTube, found several frequently used three-word phrases. Among them: “Black Lives Matter,” “diversity equity inclusion,” and “Sweet Baby Inc.”

Into this firestorm landed Minecraft. As Adrienne Massanari, an associate professor at American University’s school of communications and author of the forthcoming book Gaming Democracy: How Silicon Valley Leveled Up the Far Right, points out, Minecraft (the gaming platform), already had some right-leaning fans. Its creator, Markus “Notch” Persson, who sold Mojang to Microsoft for $2.5 billion in 2014, has sent some dumb tweets about race, and Minecraft “has a reputation for being connected to the far-right pipeline,” Massanari says. Being based on a game connects the Minecraft Movie to Gamergate-like responses in some ways, but it’s also possible that a movie based on “this particular game,” she adds, has activated a certain kind of fan.

Back in August, Deadline reported The Acolyte would not be getting a second season. It was, Stenberg would later say, “not a huge shock” considering the response online. Other reports claimed it didn’t get a second season because it was expensive and didn’t attract a huge viewership. Regardless of the reason, Via says the far right saw it as a victory of the “go woke, go broke” narrative they’ve been pushing.

“Going after The Minecraft Movie may be an attempt to recreate this ‘victory’ and provide the far right with the opportunity to craft the narrative about a series or film themselves,” Via says. “If Minecraft were to perform poorly at the box office, they could point to “diversity” as a reason for its failure and justify petitioning for more media that excludes everyone but straight, white men.”

[malinthebodyguard]

August Quotes the Godfather: betrayal, vengeance, and loneliness

I’ve always just slightly annoyed at August saying this, whenever someone asks why the Erikssons  are at the party : 

And yes, I know 80% of the things he says are slightly annoying and goddamn Malte for his excellent delivery of the shittiest comments. 

But still, he’s quoting the Godfather at a Gen Z High School party. Of course,  ‘Keep your friends close but your enemies closer’ is now  just a phrase people say, often with no connection to the film that made it popular. 

 But the fact he’s specifically saying it in English makes me think that August was intentionally quoting the film. And it makes sense that he’d know this films enough to reference them. The protagonist is a sly, attractive man, wealthy enough to disregard the law, all while wearing a stylishly pulled-back hairdo  These films are the stories of  rich men, who control everyone and everything around them. Men who make offers that cannot be refused. Men whose pulse doesn’t shake if they have to avenge their father or kill the brother that betrayed him. Female character are either objects of desire or victims of violence, with little to no agency. 

 August quoting this is telling us, the audience, that he’s the kind of person that values and admires this kind of film. But also that to a certain degree that he wants the people around him to know that of him. He knows these movies, and wants to be perceived as someone similar to its leads not just by quoting the film, but by claiming to adopt one of its most famous tenets. 

 We as the audience also know that  this is a performance for him . August didn’t invite Simon and Sara  so he could ‘keep his enemies closer’. His motivation for lying here is strange to me. Yes, Simon is someone he considers below him, but having Simon get him booze from outside is not something that preposterous. It’s even something that another character suggests. But August had asked Simon that favour out of desperation, because he had no way out. I think his unwillingness to admit that is telling about how much August values his perceived power and ability to get what he wants. We also see how meticulous he can be about maintaining it. 

But I think this quote is also a foreshadowing for what’s to come for August. The quote is something Michael Corleone says in Godfather II, a film that examines the rise and downfall of the Corleone family. Betrayal and revenge are some of the key themes of this story. Michael is betrayed by some of the most important people in his life.  The biggest betrayal of all is his brother Fredo’s. 

Fredo is Michael’s weak and easily manipulated older brother. His betrayal of Michael is one of the driving forces behind this film’s story, the revelation that he’d done it the climax. And in the film, Michael has  to punish his brother’s treason:

I think it’s easy to see how August might identify with this character . By episode 5, August thinks of himself as someone who's been betrayed by everyone around him: his mother, Felice, and Wille.

Of course, we know that’s not exactly what happens  But as far as August is concerned , then this is very accurate description. Felice’s interest in Wille, even when it’s platonic, is a betrayal to August’s own feelings. His mother’s request to sell their art is a betrayal to August’s legacy

The worst betrayal of all is Wille’s. Because Wille doesn’t just  reveal his financial problems, but in doing so he actively destroys the image of power and wealth that August had so carefully constructed. Simon is part of that betrayal as well, since he’s the only person who knew the truth. 

The only way August can take back what Wille ruined is by following along the model he was already emulating. It’s not just that the betrayal must be punished, but that August is justified in doing so.  

But August didn’t watch the film till the end, it seems. 

Michael Corleone is a powerful man, sure. But he’s a lonely violent man, who had the opportunity to escape his family’s expectations and instead chose to embrace them to his own detriment.  

The film ends with Michael alone, surrounded by memories of a family destroyed by his own acts of violence and sitting by himself on a dining table. 

August is seemingly starting the next season in a very similar place. Completely alone, dealing with the consequences of his own actions.

Revenge has been quoted as one of the key themes of this next season, and I’m interested in seeing how this is going to incorporate August into it. 

[magnificenthologramrebel]

I've started watching boys over flowers, and I feel both the deepest love and the worst hate for this show. Or not hate. I just get so much second hand embarrassment. And the female lead can be a bit cringe at times. But thats okay, we're all a bit cringe sometimes. Maybe not that much, but still.

I don't find the boys that pretty, but I feel them growing on me. But Ji-hoo's hair? Like what? It's so long, and red. And you can kinda see his facial hair. It feels weird. I think Jun-pyo is handsome overall, but again, that hair. Idk if that was fashionable in the 2000s, but it's a bit odd. I get that you want to keep it similar to the source material, but that hairdo is a bit extreme.

It's very toxic and pick me, but I live for that shit. Those tropes are the thing that get me out of bed every morning. It's wrong, but I don't really care. I love seeing a poor (she's not that poor, (i think?)) interacting with upper society. And Jun-pyo's toxic behaviour. Him having so much hubris. Him just grabbig Jan-di. AHHHHH.

The thing I really wanted to write about was the soundtrack. It's SO GOOD! I know some K-pop, but I've never listened to older stuff. It fits well with the vibe of the show. I've listened to "because I'm stupid" on repeat, and it makes me feel so much. The emotions!?! And the lyrics?!? I really love it!

[showtunesdream]

Ok, so I have seen almost every English version of Cinderella made since 1950 and it is my favorite fairy tale. So I saw the new Amazon version and I have a LOT OF THOUGHTS: (Spoilers)

I am here for Cinderella remakes, and I really hoped this one would enchant me. But...it didn't. I've read several reviews to help me specify just what didn't work for me, and I think it ultimately comes down to discord in nearly every element. Discord: too many notes at the same time; no unity, no connection. I'm all for pulling popular tunes, but they have to fit the character's emotion. I'm all for powerful female choreography, but having a chorus of women violently pelvic thrusting in ball gowns was...just weird. The artistic choices have to fit the narrative. 

All the women in the story are trying to assert some authority and agency in a world we are consistently told is exclusively patriarchal "because tradition." But it feels like that tone clashed with the producers' desire to include all the fairytale elements they felt audiences would expect. I think they could've done it, but they didn't get it right. It would be a fine line to tread, bc on the one hand you are talking about female disenfranchisement and lack of agency/rights, and on the other you’re trying to do fairytale love--the subject matter is really quite a heavy burden for that storyline.

 I've also seen comments that the cinematography and pacing were a mess, but I didn't get past my "do I like this?" vibe enough to notice. 

A few other assorted critiques: There was no chemistry between the prince and Ella, there was a lot of tell and not show (you can have a chorus sing it multiple times but I'm not gonna buy it unless you back it up with acting), and also the prince was not appealing in the least. Like, maybe that was the point, but if so, forget the romance plot altogether bc if I'm not falling for the guy, why would our heroine? There was more chemistry between the prince and his manservant (braid guy) than between Ella and him. There was nearly more depth of character in the manservant than in the prince as well, which is saying something.

One of the most annoying instances of tell and not show was Ella’s appearance. They kept talking about how dirty she was, and the stepmother even says “you would be so pretty if…” but the only real difference in Ella’s appearance is that she has a darker complexion… So what are we saying here, that she is unappealing bc she isn’t white enough? Admittedly that is reading into it a bit much, but just put some damn ash on her face and it’s a non-issue!

Moments of magic included the original songs (why did they not do the whole score this way???), and the performances from the sterling cast members as you'd expect. Also, I loved the building they chose for Ella's family estate/basement. (Oh, and also if you are going to turn the stepmother into Mrs. Bennett, then you have to show the financial difficulties in some wayyyy...) 

Overall, I could see what could've been a homerun concept in the script. I wanted to love it. I really did. But the execution fell woefully short for me.

**If I could, like Fab G, wave my wand and fix some things:**

-All original songs, not poorly fitting pop covers. The worst offenders in my eyes were “Material Girl,” “What A Man,” and “Find Me Somebody to Love.” The ball song should be about the princesses/stepsisters’

/Gwen/Ella’s aspirations, and maybe the prince’s too, if this fix version means he gets character development, like, say, a superobjective. 

-We open as before, with the narrator telling us how tradition has ruled everyone’s lives for years. As the townsfolk sing, we get the feeling that Ella isn’t the only one who is not so happy with the status quo. Ultimately everyone will learn through Ella that they don’t have to be struck in the same old ways. 

-As she works in the house we see Ella using her flair for fashion, her gift for making women feel beautiful to act a modiste/lady's maid to her stepmother and stepsisters. We see her transform an outfit/hairdo with a clever and fresh idea noone would have thought of. We get that speech about “it doesn’t matter if I think you’re beautiful. What matters is how you feel...etc.” Insert song about fashion and how amazing women are just in general, with makeover magic. (She didn’t feel like a fashion designer to me, I didn’t feel that creative spark/passion. I needed them to amp this up.)

-Ella’s personal appearance reflects her gift for inventive style as well.  (I really struggled with her being on one hand a fashion designer and on the other hand having no color in her dress, AND having everyone talk about how untidy her appearance was (which again, it wasn’t. Also, were she really covered in cinders and ash, she wouldn’t be able to handle fabric without making it dirty….)

-Ella’s dresses are made of found and reused materials, cleverly crafted. Like a set of old drapes a la Sound of Music, or forgotten antique dresses harvested for their fabric. After the prince buys her dress she can afford to buy new fabric and make her pink dress (that then gets ruined by Vivian.)

-If we *are* going to keep the idea of borrowed pop songs, then at some point all of the women sing No Doubt’s “I’m Just A Girl,” illustrating how their gender in this society makes them second class citizens: the stepsisters, Vivian, and princesses have to marry to gain opportunity/privilege, Gwen can’t get a word in on state matters, the queen is constantly shut down by her husband, etc. However, better for them to sing an original song that reflects this--maybe have “Dream Girl” come in earlier and get expanded/reprised.

-We needed to see the hardship that Vivian spoke of, bc I never saw it. Why remarry when you are clearly a wealthy widow?

-I still haven’t figured out how to give the prince a character that Ella could fall in love with. Show his kindness separate from supporting Ella? Give him an “I want” song that isn’t about his father wanting him to get married? Give him some kind of point? We’ve seen the “I don’t want to be king and am lost until this amazing girl inspired me” trope work before, but your boy has to have more to him than this guy did. 

-I also would like to find some way to extend the insta-love a bit. I’m a huge fan of meeting as commoners, as in the 1997 Cinderella, and there, they make a connection that properly works. Maybe it all boils down to a lack of chemistry between the actors? And/or give me better lyrics? Hmm. 

Anywho, I'm just rambling. So sad to see this fall so short of its potential.

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Getting away with it (7/?)

Summary: August Walker was dead. At least that’s what people   believed for almost 2 years. When the CIA found reason to believe that   he was alive they made it their top priority to find him. Including   sending one of their best female agents to recruit his twin brother.   Walter Marshall.  

Pairing: August Walker x Reader (Walker) + Walter Marshall x Reader (Walker)

Warnings: none

Wordcount: 2.321

A/N: We learn a little about what August is exactly planing and it ain’t good

Masterlist

Part 1 >> Part 2 >> Part 3 >> Part 4 >> Part 5 >> Part 6

Taglist *:

@ladyreapermc​ / @theolsdalova​ / @greenmanalishi​ / @itsmydreamlifethings​ / @palaiasaurus64​ / @celestial-vomit​ / @penwieldingdreamer​/ @notyourtypicalrose​ / @babypink224221​ / @blahdragonageblah​ / @alexakeyloveloki​ / @siriussnape07​ / @trippedmetaldetector​ / @fanficsrusz​ / @solariumss​ / @starlite13​ / @ly–canthrope​ / @mytbel0st​ / @oddsnendsfanfics​ / @ravenpuff02​ / @sofiebstar​ / @chamomilebottom​ / @keiva1000​ / @agniavateira​ / @peaceinourtime82​ / @dearlybelovedluke​ / @diehadess​ / @watermeloncavill​ /  @desperate-and-broken​ / @fangirl199812​ / @wondersofdreaming​ / @onceiwasanun​​ / @iloveyouyen​ / @elysianokeanos​ / @paradisecitychild​ / @fangirl199812​​ / @fcgrizi​ / @omgkatinka​ / @itsmydreamlifethings​ / @thequeenofhellsblog​ / @luclittlepond​ / @singeramg​ / @vania-marie​ / @valkavill​​ / @mary-ann84​ / @ayamenimthiriel​ / @radaofrivia​ / @oh-jules​ ​ / @modernscarlett​ / @p3nny4urth0ught5​ / @yespolkadotkitty​ / ​@the-thighs-of-betrayal​ / @shewritesinthethirdperson​​ / @cherrybloomn

*If you wanna be added (or removed) to the taglist please do it here Thanks x

Evie had slept like a stone. Giggling she brushed her teeth, watched by her mother who was suppressing a grin at the amount of white foam in front of her daughters mouth. 

“You remember what I told you about Walter yesterday?” Walker asked. Evie nodded.

“I won’t tell.”  She slurred, the toothpaste going everywhere, making Walker roll her eyes as she chuckled. Evie spit out the toothpaste, turning around to Walker.

“Do you think he likes Frozen?” Evie asked with big eyes. Walker frowned, surprised once more to how children seemed to go from one thought to one completely different.

“I don’t know. You have to ask him.” She smiled as she got down on her knees and began to braid her hair.

Evie was drawing in the living room when Walker joined Marshall in her kitchen. He had a file in front of him, wearing his pyjamas. His hair seemed to be even curlier, if that was possible, a wild mess on top of his head.

August Walker seemed to be the perfect husband and father from the outside. From what Walker had told Walter it wasn’t love at first sight. At least for her. They had spend 7 months on their first mission, posing as newlyweds. 

“It almost took 5 months for me to realize that not everything he did was the mission. Like when he made breakfast in the morning. I used to be the clear opposite of a morning person.” Walker mused as she was cutting some fruit for Evie to take to kindergarten.

“Really?” Marshall chuckled, taking a sip from the coffee she had made for him.

“I was the worst. Honestly. August was up every day before 6 am. Working out first, then breakfast. Then working out with me again….” She smiled a little as she seemed to think back.

“I was incredibly intimidated by him after I read his file. I know how to defend myself, yes. But August was not only a huge man, he had that glimmer in his eyes where you never knew what he was thinking. That never went away though. But it shifted. It was after I came home later than usual that I found him sitting in the kitchen.

6 years ago

“Where have you been?” August asked as she walked in. He ignored the urge to compliment her on her new hairdo.

“Out.” She frowned, walking past him. August reached for her upper arm, making her turn around and shove him with her arm up against his chest.

“What the fuck August?” She huffed.

“I was… We are here on a mission. May I remind you that you are to pose as my wife. And as that I should know about your whereabouts.” He said sternly. She rolled her eyes.

“You seem to forget that we’re not actually married, Mr. Walker. And sometimes I need to see something different than your face.” She looked up at him, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

“If this mission fails, it will be all your fault.” He growled quietly, trying not to look at her perfectly shaped boobs, that her arms pushed up. 

“My fault. Right. Whatever August…” She shook her head, turning around to leave again.

“Stop.” He simply said. He heard her breathe in deep, but she stopped. 

“The next time you stay out longer at least drop me a message. Otherwise I will come and find you.” He said.

“Right…” She turned around to face him again.

“It must be so hard for you to not have control about every little thing, huh?” She mocked.

“The serious and angry August Walker who people at HQ whisper about… But not me. You don’t intimidate me anymore. You won’t scare me. If I want to stay out, I do. Wife's do that all the time. It’s you that has a problem with it.” She raised her left eyebrow at him. 

August breathed in deep, trying to control the anger boiling inside of him.

“I don’t intimidate you?” He smiled at her.

“So you don’t lock the door behind your bedroom door each night? You don’t carry your gun with you around me? You don’t watch each and every step I take? What changed after our first meeting?” He asked, curious. Because to him it felt like they were off to a good start when he had invited her for lunch in New York.

“I read your file.” She simply said.

“And what does my file say about me?” He asked, slowly walking towards her.

“That you can’t be trusted.” She said quietly.

“And what do you think about me?” He asked, stopping in front of her as her back hit the wall. August suppressed the urge to close his eyes as he inhaled her scent. It was intoxicating. He towered over her, looking down in her eyes that glared up at him.

“I think that you’re a control freak. And in the second you lose the control over a thing, it drives you insane.” She said quietly.

“And you think I lost control about you?” He asked, his hands coming down on the wall next to her head.

“You never had control over me.” She whispered. August chuckled and slowly leaned down so his mouth was close to her ear.

“Do you think I can’t hear you moaning my name in the middle of the night when you touch yourself?” He asked, breathing her in as he saw her closed her eyes.

“Why do you keep fighting this? Just… give in.” He continued, his lips ghosting over her neck.

He heard her breathing got faster, as her hands slowly came down on his waist.

“I’m not just a fucktoy. Against all odds I care about you August. And if you hurt me, I am going to serve you your balls for dinner.” She finally said.

“And how would you do that?” He grinned against her skin, his lips tracing up her neck.

“Like I am going to tell you.” She whispered, voice shaking.

Finally his face was in front of hers, his eyes looking into hers.

“I have no doubt that you might be the only one on earth who can take me down.” He said.

“And why is that?” She asked, his lips inches away from hers.

“Because I think I love you.” He whispered, before his lips crashed down on hers.

unknown location, now

August knew enough about Anthrax to know that it’s consequences would be just enough for what he was looking for. With his Laptop in front of him, he sat at his kitchen table, waiting for his contact to get back to him. Looking out of the window, where everything seemed to be gray for some reason, he sighed.

He was convinced he had formed the best plan possible. Meeting up with his contact, paying him, getting the Anthrax, spreading it in China. What he needed was someone who could synthesize it, so it would have the most severe effect once he finally he hold on it. He had been thinking about a scientist him and Walker had taken down years ago who had planned something similar to what he was planning now. Back then August thought it was insane what he planned. Oh how much had changed over the years…

He couldn’t watch the news without the anger boiling inside of him. People all over the world were committing crimes on a daily basis and the law enforcement was sheer helpless against the amount of it happening. Closing his eyes he breathed in deep, trying to imagine a world in which he had brought peace. In which he could see his daughter grow up in peace, without the worry of her being taken too soon. A world where maybe he and Walker could be happy again. He was sure that she would understand his reasons, if he were to explain it to her. At least he hoped so. Because against all odds, August still loved her.

He knew she hasn’t been with another man ever since he left

A message on his screen made him look up.

A.Nonymus: Meeting confirmed. Pick up arranged in 9 days. Meeting to take place right under their nose.

August grinned as he read the message. There was only one place in the world where he knew how to find the information about where the scientist was being held that was accessible to him. August Walker was going home.

Langley, Virginia, same day

“Okay so it seemed like we now have a time frame to when you will be having your first meeting as August.” Walker said as she read the Email Miller has send her.

“And?”

“6 weeks. You’ll stay here until the beginning of next week and then you’re off to boot camp.” She bit her lip to hide her grin.

“Boot camp?” He asked, Eyebrow raised.

“Well… You gonna have to learn everything August did. That includes his fighting skills.” She looked up at him, looking him up and down.

“What?” He asked, following her eyes up and down his body.

“I don’t mean this in a mean way, so I’m just saying it.” She sighed. Marshall nodded slowly.

“You need to work on your physique. It’s not like you’re not muscular enough, I’m sure you are. But he was just…”

“More.” Walter said with a blank expression. Slowly Walker nodded. Walter began to laugh as he saw her sorry expression on her face.

“I let myself go a little the last months, I know. I’m on it.” He chuckled.

“Better start sooner than later. Otherwise you will be a mess at the end of the boot camp.”

“What exactly will I learn in this bootcamp?” He asked.

“Basic CIA stuff. Weapons, Intorigation, close combat… the usual.” She shrugged.

“That doesn’t sound so bad…” He said.

“I learned what you will learn in 3 weeks in 2 years.” Walker explained.

“Oh…” Marshall nodded. He should really get back to his workout routine.

“But hey. If you survive these three weeks I’m gonna show you how to kill someone with a spoon.” She grinned.

“The mustache really was his thing, huh?” Walter asked, looking at one of the rare pictures Walker had of August.

Walker looked up from where she was sitting, seeing the picture he was holding. It was August at one of their first days after they moved here.

“For some reason he was really fond of it.” She shrugged, a grin plastering to her face as she looked at Marshall.

“You know that you also have to look like him, right?”

“I’m not getting a mustache. That’s where i draw the line.”

“Oh come on.” She pouted.

“I won’t go through a whole undercover mission, looking like a 70s pornstar.” He shook his head.

“Moving on. How many missions did you have with August in total?” He asked. Walker had to think about that.

“We were on 15 missions until I had to go in maternal leave. After that we didn’t work together.”

“All undercover missions?”

“Mostly. We worked very well together as a team. He was more of the… brutal matter while i was very delicate. Sloane used to joke we were unstoppable.”

“He hates Sloane. Why?” Marshall asked. Walker sighed.

“In his eyes she represents everything he hates.” Walker said.

“I just can’t understand how a person can change so radically in a short amount of time…” Marshall said.

“Thinking back he always was a bit off. But it really got worse after Evie was born. I should have seen it sooner.” Walker sighed. Marshall looked at her for a long time.

“Do you think you could have stopped him?”

“I don’t know. I like to believe I could have. But… Once he set his mind to something is hard changing it. Even if it means genocide.” 

“Do you want to see him again?” Marshall asked softly. With a sad smile he looked at him.

“I do. I just don’t know what happens if I see him.” She whispered.

“You do still love him.” Marshall said.

“Against everything a part of me still does. No matter how hard I try not to.” A tear ran down her cheek.

“You have to let him go. He will never change and you will never join him in his world view. He will keep breaking your heart.” And Walter won’t let him. He cared for her. Probably in a way he wasn’t supposed to. But that didn’t mean he would stop worrying about her.

He could be a friend for her. Maybe even an uncle for Evie. 

When Walker left to pick Evie up from Kindergarten Marshall sat in his room, all the files he had about August on the floor, arranged after year and case.

It would be hard to become August. Who seemed to have no weakness. For the millionth time since he started studying him only days ago he asked himself, how someone would want to kill so many people. When Marshall joined the police he wanted to keep people safe. It would be his duty until he had to retire. August had sworn the same oath when he joined the CIA. But something along the way went wrong. 

His guess was the last mission he went on with Walker. She had already been pregnant then and been captured by a group of terrorist or a day. Most of the file he had received from that mission was blacked out, but the pictures of dead bloodied man attached to them spoke more than words. 

August Walker seemed to do everything to protect the little that he loved. And Marshall could only hope that his hadn’t changed in the last couple years. Because if he would have to choose if he had to protect the world, or Faye, Evie and Walker, he didn’t know which choice he would make.

[theladyragnell]

Killjoys, perhaps?

favorite male character: JOHN JAQOBIS, LOVE OF MY FICTIONAL LIFE. Though Fancy is a very close second.

favorite female character: Dutch! I just love her so much, she is such a good heroine and I adore her.

least favorite character: Fuck Khlyen and any and all attempts to redeem him.

prettiest character: Probably Dutch again? And also Aneela, because Hannah John-Kanem’s Aneela hairdos are very powerful. Followed, again, by Fancy Lee.

funniest character: This is hard, because this show makes people funny in combinations that aren’t necessarily on their own! But I very much enjoy Fancy-related humor.

favorite season: Mmm, I think season one, for all the political focus? But hard to say, it maintained quality better than many shows do, and season four frequently filled me with joy.

favorite episode: The Warrior Princess Bride by a COUNTRY MILE. Fake marriage! Fancy party! Dutch and John and their epic friend-love!

favorite romantic ship: I like Delle Seyah/Aneela, and D’avin/Fancy, and John/Lucy in certain ways, and if anyone else would have climbed enthusiastically on board with me I could easily have gotten very deep in for Dutch/John, but as it was I was more there for the found family!

favorite family ship: Team Awesome Force! Both the core four and all the constellation of friends and allies around them who became a kind of found family.

favorite friend ship: DUTCH AND JOHN, they just left me absolutely BREATHLESS with all the love between them, it is so lovely.

worst ship: Ohhhh, John/Pawter. It took all the tentative goodwill that I could have had for the ship from “Come the Rain,” squandered it all, and capped it off with a fridging. Not good.

[primetime-soaps]

Article in the March 18, 1986, issue of the National Enquirer about the best and worst female hairdos on TV. Soap stars included in the “Best” section were Joan Collins, Tracy Scoggins, and Priscilla Presley. Those in the “Worst” section were Linda Evans, Pamela Bellwood, Jane Wyman, Lisa Hartman, and Morgan Fairchild. 

[tothedarkdarkseas]

Do you think Stu's ego shot up because of the whole rockstar thing, or was he always a little cocky? I know we don't know everything about his old life, but he has such a cocky little smile in that one picture. Maybe the ego was there, but he just didn't have something big to crow about. Just curious, because I like your headcanons about pre-Gorillaz Stu.

(Thank you very much for saying that, I appreciate it!)

I definitely think it’s both-- Stu had a slightly exaggerated baseline ego to begin with, and rockstardom picked that up and ran with it. I’d imagine it could at times have some impact on his relationships, but it became truly unwieldy with fame. Man, I love that ROTO picture, don’t you? He looks like such a smug little prick: he’s got the casual homophobia going on with the lads, he’s got the hairdo, he’s got the smirk, he’s got the underage smoking, they’re sporting the matching little St. Wilfred’s uniforms together and you instantly get a sense of who Stu is in this group. I can imagine his mum brushing his hair to the side like that and him continuing to fix it through the day, because it looks sharp, dunnit? And those other boys would give him a hard time except he’s a foot taller than them and he’s got 3 classroom girlfriends (different classes, of course!) He doesn’t stand out as a “leader” of the pack necessarily, but he does stand out as smug and “cute,” almost certainly the one that girls would like most. I think that element of Stu’s ego was always present, it just presented more as being thoughtless, immature, and uncritical of himself, leading to a string of relationships where he’s described (in surely the most glowing tone) as “Stu-Pot was... er, sweet, but... a bit thick.” As you say, there’s nothing for Stu to direct his ego through except himself, and the main thing that feeds ego for an average (straight, allosexual) guy is female attention. So that’s just kind of where I go with that, in terms of parsing Stu’s ego without music and fame, it seems more bolstered by his coddling mum and his always-short but not catastrophically bad relationships which don’t actually make him consider if he’s the problem, because the lad’s “a bit thick.” I’m sure the text that describes Stu as “sweet” or mild-mannered isn’t flagrantly wrong, I just wonder if 1. the reluctant tone of the teacher or schoolmate isn’t entirely captured there, as well as some bits just coming from his mum 2. it’s a little intentional to contrast that with a picture that looks anything but. I know we’re not necessarily told this group photo is meant to portray “Stu and all his very best mates” or portray exactly what their dynamic would be, but I do think it makes a stronger statement than his mum saying he’s a nice boy over in the margins. Handful of salt about how seriously you interpret it, but it’s a fun picture of adolescent Stu! Er, sorry if I got a bit off topic there. I think you can definitely see a theme across phases 1 and 2 of that same cocky smirk blossoming into bigger, sleazier grins as fame serves up the worst cocktail to a person with lacking self-awareness and some heavy shades of ego. (Whether it’s egomania like Murdoc displays, questionable, but it is certainly ego.)

[mutedbeautyqueen]

NAME.

FULL NAME: Dolly Ann Dixon


PREFERRED NAME/NICKNAMES: Dolls or Doll 


GENERALLY REFERRED TO AS: Dolly Ann or just Dolly

APPEARANCE.

FACECLAIM: Carlson Young

SEX: cis female


HEIGHT: 5’2” 


WEIGHT: 100-105


BUILD: thin, slightly toned


HAIR: long blonde hair, always styled


HANDS: she gets a mani/pedi every week and comes in for touch-ups if something happens and they chip, prefers a more rounded soft-looking nail with a nude or pale pink polish, soft grey in winter, in contrast, her toenails are often a brighter pink


CLOTHES: mostly skirts and dresses, most of her shoes have a heel, delicate jewelry, prefers gold over silver and diamonds over other stones, if you saw her walking down the street you’d know she was a pageant girl


OTHER FEATURES: dimples

SPEECH.

ACCENT: Soft, well-off North Carolina accent

LANGUAGE: English and some Spanish


ARTICULATION: She’s used to public speaking so she’s articulate


EDUCATION: She speaks differently when she’s with her friends but if it’s pageant related she’s well-spoken

LAUGHTER: She feels self-conscious about her real laugh, she’s been told it’s too loud and unladylike so she tries to keep her laugh to a giggle. When something really tickles her, she can’t help it.


BREATHING: She has been known to sigh dramatically or in frustration, and she does a very good scornful ugh

MANNERISMS.

FACE: She’s good at hiding negative emotions, positive emotions are harder for her

HANDS: She doesn’t do a lot of gestures, a few when needed for emphasis but they’re very controlled and planned. 


LEGS/FEET: If she taps her foot impatiently it’s on purpose to try and get someone to hurry, she doesn’t mindlessly tap or jiggle her leg

EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS: Negative emotional outbursts are rare for her. She tries to keep a tight lid on those kinds of things. When she’s really happy she’ll give a little happy squeal

HABITS: checking her phone when bored

POSTURE: She has excellent posture. She’s even got the trophy from finishing school to prove it.

PERSONAL SPACE: Depends on the person. Her and her friends are always in each other’s spaces and growing up pageant meant she is used to sharing space. But if she doesn’t like you she wants you out of her personal space

OTHER: She tilts her head to the right when she’s thinking

HEALTH:

DIET: For the most part she eats healthy with a few splurges in there, when she’s preparing for a pageant she has a stricter diet that is borderline unhealthy

SLEEP: Dolly Ann is a firm believer in beauty sleep before her friends started dropping she made sure she got eight hours, since the gentlemen happened her sleep has been lacking when she does sleep she has nightmares

EXERCISE: She works out, especially when she’s worried about calories, but she tries to stick to things that won’t bulk her up bc she’s worried about being too muscular. She doesn’t like working out in front of people so she uses the home gym her daddy set up for her momma 


ACTIVITY: She keeps a full schedule of activities both during a pageant and after


CLEANLINESS: She’s very meticulous about bathing and washing, she’s got an hour-long skincare routine to go along with it

ODOR: She loves scented things but usually opts for lighter scents so they don’t overpower her perfume which is usually something light and either floral or fruity depending on the season. Right now her favorite is Roses De Chloé ADDICTIONS: hairspray, on her hair not huffing


PARASITES: ew no! (Unless you count her mom re-living her pageant years through Dolly Ann as a parasite)


OTHER: she drinks at parties but not enough to puke

PERSONAL.

INTROVERT/EXTROVERT?: She thrives on being the center of attention and can strike up a conversation with anyone, though it’s very likely the conversation will revolve around her

OPTIMIST/PESSIMIST: Optimistic, especially when it comes to things involving herself


GENDER: female


SEXUALITY: she’s the kind of straight girl that would kiss another girl to get a hot guy’s attention


ROMANTIC: She loves romance, all the cliche stuff but also the more personal stuff that only the two of them would get 


MEMORY: She has a good memory


PLANNING: With as much as she has going on between pageant preparation, school dances committee, community service projects, Queen duties, and school she has to be great at planning


INTUITION: If Dolly Ann makes the decision it’s the right decision in her mind


PROBLEM SOLVING: She feels like since she’s rich and beautiful she can just pay someone to handle problems for her which is her go-to problem-solving solution 


GOALS: Dolly Ann’s main goal in life is to marry a politician at the state or national level or CEO of a successful company, anyone else rich might do too, have a cheating clause in the prenup so that when they cheat on her, because politicians always cheat, she can divorce them and do whatever she pleases with a large bank account to back her up. Her momma’s main goal for her is to be Miss America which Dolly Ann is fine with since it could help her land the bank account of her dreams. 


INSECURITIES: She’s human so of course she has insecurities but she hides them behind a lot of hairspray and lipstick. Mostly she’s insecure about her ability to make her own choices, murder club is one of the few times she’s gone against her momma’s wishes. What if momma really does know best?


ACHIEVEMENTS: every single one of her crowns, sashes, and titles. Also, she didn’t get her heart cut out so that’s a big win! 


ANXIETY: running out of hairspray


SELF-HELP: throw money at them, run to daddy, a good mani/pedi always helps 


COMFORTS: pretty things, she can be really shallow and she’s happy with that


BAD HABITS: gossiping and judging other people, not that she considers it a bad habit, it’s not mean if it’s true


PHILOSOPHY: Being beautiful gets you everywhere is her philosophy in life, she’s also a really terrible catholic but she thinks she’s a perfectly wonderful one


TRIGGERS: running out of hairspray

THE PAST.

PARENTS/GUARDIANS: Mary Helen is a formidable pageant mom while her dad Beau tends to be working or on the golf course a lot, so while not terribly close to either she loves both of them and has always felt loved by them. But she would love it if her mom paid more attention to her own life and let Dolly Ann live hers, like her dad.

LIFE EVENTS: the only life event that’s affected how her life went was being Mary Helen’s daughter

WORST DAY OF THEIR LIFE: gotta be the night the gentlemen tried to kill her, first there was almost getting her heart cut out followed by the whole fiasco of trying to get the sheriff’s office to believe her about what happened, finally getting to leave only to find out that four more of her friends (frienemies) were murdered that night


BEST DAY OF THEIR LIFE: Winning Miss Teen Normal this year, unlike all the highs of all her other wins this one felt even better because they defeated the gentlemen and no one else died


LOOKING BACK: tell Emmett what was happening, make Kaz stay over before she was attacked so she wasn’t alone that night, believe Jamie sooner so that maybe they could have somehow stopped all the deaths before they happened, convinced her boyfriend not to go on that trip, there are a few things she wouldn’t mind a redo on

RELATIONSHIPS.

FAMILY: she’s never had/needed a found family so family has always been those related by blood/marriage 


FRIENDSHIPS: She and the other beauty queens make up a lil clique of frienemies within the larger popular crowd

FRIENDS IN NEED: make over time! The best way to help someone is to help them look better, right?


NEEDING A FRIEND: Not having friends who wouldn’t gossip about her if given the chance Dolly Ann tends to keep things to herself, things are getting a little too heavy to do that now 


ANNOYANCES: Most of the time by spilling gossip about the person occasionally getting petty and going for revenge 


ROMANCE: She wants someone who appreciates her beauty. That’s a lot of effort she puts in! Aside from that if they’re an athlete and they ask her out chances are good she’ll say yes, even better if they have a nice car. As far as boyfriend material, Tad won her over by having all of that and political aspirations. He was the total package right down to his boat shoes and complete life plan


ADVERSARIES: Prior to MC it would have been lack of popularity, ugly clothes, weirdness in general, lack of appreciation for the things that make high school high school like dances. Now she’s slowly opening up to allowing that stuff but if you wear plastic shoes you are really pushing her levels of tolerance


ENEMIES: Hate causes wrinkles. Besides her momma always says keep your enemies close, it’s why she’s friends with all of them. 


STRANGERS: Situational, she can be completely careless about noticing background people but she can also turn on the charm and make strangers feel like she really likes them   


FUN STUFF: mani/pedis, shopping, make overs 


DATING: dinner someplace with real napkins, movies, hanging on their arm like the trophy she is at events


BEST FRIEND: RIP Heather, Edwina seems to be in the lead to fill the opening 


LOVE: she is her own love of her life, daddy’s black card comes in a pretty close second


WORST ENEMY: Humidity, it can kill a hairdo 

INTERACTIONS.

MINGLING: She can be charming if she wants but she really has no idea how to make real friends instead of the shallow friendships she has


COMFORT LEVELS: She is comfortable talking to all sorts of people and if she’s not she can at least fake it


PHYSICAL: She’s comfortable giving and receiving physical affection but it really depends on how close you are to her if she initiates it


GROUPS: Dolly Ann loves attention on her, it doesn’t matter if it’s a big group or just one on one


OPENNESS: She’s normally very fake, opening up is a new process for her


GENEROSITY: She loves getting things, give her all the presents with gift receipts so she can take it back and get something she really likes, she also has no problem spending daddy’s money on other people 


JEALOUSY:  She gets jealous when someone else gets the attention she wants or something she wants especially from someone she considers one of her people 


TEMPER: Dolly Ann doesn’t really have a temper, she doesn’t even raise her voice normally, if you make her really mad she’s more of a get even kind of person


EMPATHY: Her momma is very big on making it no matter what and Dolly can be really self-absorbed to the point of not realizing someone else’s feelings. But if she’s making an effort she has empathy for someone and lately, she’s been feeling more empathy towards others and less self-absorbed without having to make an effort. 


AFFECTION: She is a hugger. But mostly she shows affection by spending time with people, because her schedule is always packed, or by buying them things.


DISTASTE: Dolly can be pretty petty so her usual way is not using their name. But she’s not above gossiping about them or even criticizing them to their face.


ETIQUETTE: She is very much a sticking to polite norms of social interactions type 


RESPONSIBILITY: She doesn’t like admitting when she’s wrong but she does try and fix her mistakes


SELF ESTEEM: No one loves Dolly Ann as much as Dolly Ann loves Dolly Ann


CONFIDENCE: She cares what other people think of her because being popular is important 
until it interferes with what she wants

HONESTY: Dolly Ann has no problems hiding behind honesty to hurt someone’s feelings but when it comes to herself she isn’t always honest.


LEADER OR FOLLOWER: Both, she’s comfortable leading and comfortable following if she thinks the person leading can get her what/where she wants


PRAISE: Dolly Ann lives off compliments, it’s the easiest way to get her to do something 


FAILURES: She can be very self-centered which can be annoying to others 


CRITICISM: Badly


INSULTS: Depends on who is insulting her and what they’re insulting 


EMBARRASSMENT: She would rather die than admit she was embarrassed about something 


FLIRTING: Very flirtatious, her momma taught her that was one way to get her way, a beautiful woman’s power


ATTENTION SPAN: If it’s something she thinks is important she can concentrate, if it’s not worth the effort to her she’s not going to


SITUATIONS: Dolly Ann would rather not deal with difficult social situations, have your breakdowns in private like a normal person pls

LIFE.

DUTY: She has her pageant responsibilities which is almost like a job


TECH: If she’s not on her phone she’s on her MacBook, but usually it’s her phone


POLITICS: She’s too young to vote but she’s a democrat, Dolly Ann only talks about politics in certain crowds 


COMBAT SKILLS: She survived her attack on pure luck and a strong desire not to die in third place


HOME: They have a maid, Dolly Ann is somewhere between messy and cleans her room before the maid comes


DAILY LIFE: Before life got weird Dolly Ann had no problems even with her packed schedule, now that she’s starting to figure out what’s going on she is slowly getting her balance back but still feels a little off-balance rn


INDEPENDENCE: She can do a lot of things by herself that she chooses not to but she was also taught that there are things you hire people for


COOKING: This is one of those hire people for things


BUILDING: Another hire people for things though she can do DIY stuff like she’s worked on school floats and decorations for dances


CLEANING: She doesn’t have chores but she does put her dirty clothes in the laundry and puts her stuff away instead of leaving it for the maid


SHOPPING: She LOVES to shop especially when she’s got someone with her who also loves to shop, even if all they do is try things on and not buy anything she has fun


DRIVING: Dolly Ann has her license and a brand new pink convertible watch out Normal 


FINANCES: Her family is old money rich so she’s never worried about money 


PETS: Dolly Ann has a cat named Queen Bee, she was twelve, she calls her Queenie



TRAVELING: She goes on holiday every summer, Christmas always includes a trip up to New York City, she and her momma always go to the Miss America pageant


MEDICAL: She’s got no problems going to the doctor or dentist, good health and sparkling teeth are important 


WORRIES: everything that’s happened has made sleeping at home very difficult and the only time she gets a good night sleep is when she sneaks over to Kaz’s


PEACE: She loves having music playing


PARTYING: parties are a part of high school life so if there’s one being held by a popular student she’s there but she doesn’t go hard


HOBBIES: she hasn’t got any spare time

[courtneysmovieblog]

Top 10 complaints I’m already sick of hearing about the new “Aladdin”

Seriously, guys, the movie hasn’t even come out yet, and you’re already losing your minds based on a two-minute trailer.  Note: I’m only sticking to what I feel are the stupidest complaints.  This only my opinion, feel free to agree or disagree:

1. “The CGI Genie looks awful, I hate it!” Well, what did you expect he’d look like in CGI?!  This wouldn’t annoy me so much if you guys hadn’t thrown tantrums over the pictures over Will Smith in Genie’s “human” form...

2. “His human form looks stupid too, especially that braid!” Cartoon Genie had a similar hairdo.  Again, what did you expect?  

3. “Jafar’s voice sounds so stupid!” Wow.  Weeks ago, you guys were thirsting over the actor like crazy.  Now you’re making fun of how his voice sounds -- one line of dialogue, no less.

4. “Mena’s singing voice will suck because he has no experience!” We haven’t even heard it yet.

5. “So will Will’s!” See above.

6. “Disney is ruining my childhood!” You don’t have to watch the movie.  And if you do and don’t like it, that doesn’t mean you haven’t to stop loving the cartoon.

7. "Will won’t be as good as Robin!” Nobody will.  We know it, Will knows it, and Disney knows it.  But Robin’s gone.  We can at least give Will a chance.  Besides, I’m pretty sure that if Robin was alive to play Genie and he wound up the face of the CGI Genie, you’d still be mocking it mercilessly.

8. “Didn’t you read the articles?  They don’t even understand the characters!”  Again, the MOVIE IS NOT OUT YET, so we don’t know for sure.

9. “Worst cast ever!”  Ditto.

10. “Jasmine doesn’t have black hair!” Yes, she does, the lighting on the clips just makes it look lighter.  Look up pictures of Naomi Scott if you don’t believe me.

All in all, can we just stop trashing movies before they even come out?  This already happened with Solo and the female Ghostbusters.  If you don’t want to watch it, then don’t watch it.  It’s as simple as that.

[sanny-chan5]

BNHA “ask me” game

 So... I know this is not how this game is suppossed to be played, but I love making this kind of decisions/opinions and I just can’t wait for someone to ask me, so yeah 💪🙌😆🤗

OK this will be cool but long:

💫- What Quirk would you want (your own or existing in BNHA), and why?: One with heal power. Like “light” quirk, but not the physical type, instead, the kindness type one that reaches other’s souls and heals them from within <3 (I don’t think this is possible in BNHA world due to the lack of moral guilt villains have. It’s usually Deku who reaches other’s hearts and “others” are good people- who need to be rescued/heroes more often than not).

❇- Best quirk: OFA, of course. It gives you strengh and you can do a lot of things with that (so, speed too). Even better now that we know what he really stores, iykwim (last manga chapters, 213-5). The problem is how difficult it is to control...

🚫-Worst quirk (except Mineta): LOL. This is really difficult, they all can be used for something... Mt. Lady’s gigantification seems a little... how to say it? uncomfortable? Aoyama’s Belly Laser sounds like a pain: difficult to control and makes your belly hurt 😖 (it’ll be useful, but I wouldn’t like to have it).

😳- BNHA harem? 5-10 people: Not my thing, sorry.

👨‍❤‍💋‍👨- Fave gay ship/s: In this anime, I don’t have one (if the ship isn’t canon, I don’t ship it even if I like them, like what happens with Todomomo: I like it, but it’s not canon).

👩‍❤‍💋‍👩- Fave lesbian ship/s?: Same as last question. Until it’s canon...

💑- Fave straight ship/s?: Izuocha. Obviously (they are somehow canon. At least from Ochako’s part, but you know... pretty obvious they’ll be a thing by the end of the series...💗).

👌- Fave OT3?: Not my thing, sorry.

✨- Most underrated ship?: there aren’t many canon ships, but... I dare say Inko x his actual husband 😂😂 (yes, she has one, sorry, Toshinko shippers :c).

🎎- Most overrated ship?: Pff. Most homo “ships”, TBH x’D We all know fujoshis will conquist our world some day, just as cats are doing it...

👅- Most cancerous ship/ Shipping fandom: I don’t think there is a worst shipping fandom, ‘cause BNHA is one of the anime with more ships there. I think we all respect each other in that aspect even if we don’t like other’s ships, I guess (?)

🔫- Who would you kill?: MINETA. LMAO not really, but it’s the only character I truly dislike u.u

💍- Who would you like to marry?: Todoroki. His personality fits with mine, I’m like a mix of Deku and Ochako BTW. But I wouldn’t care if it was my cinnamon roll Deku 💗 Just, things would be very awkward if it’s just the two little shy emotional frikis we are (him being hero otaku and me just otaku in general) xDD

🥂- Date with?: Mmmm, Bakugo? I want to see that part of him X) (But I don’t think we get along very well, at least from his part, you know how he is... xD). Maybe Kaminari-chan. It’d be very fun 😄

🔭- Gaze with the stars with?: DEKU & AM. At the Seaside Park. Or with Ochako, she’d like it... :) Ahh, sweet moments...

🌸- Fave BNHA theory: I don’t like theories and I don’t want to know anything about them. I also have my thoughts, maybes & possibilities but I don’t like to speell them ‘cause they can become some sort of lucky spoiler (?).

🏞- Fave Arc in BNHA: Still soon, but I liked the Summer Camp + Rescue Bakugo Arc very much (I don’t take into account the arcs that are only part of the manga yet because if I dont watch them in the anime, I won’t know if I’ll feel the same about them. It usually gets better in the anime, with the coloring, special effects, music and acting, though).

🏝- Stranded on an island with?: Deku. He’s SO CREATIVE. He’ll totally think about how to go out there or just how to survive, at least. I’d helped, of course, but he’s so utterly dependable with making solutions for situations apparently imposible to overcome... O.O Bless him 🤗💫💓💓

🅰- Fave student in Class 1-A: DEKU (I think you all know by now). I also like Ochako very much. They’re my cinnamon rolls, so sweet, gentle and... just the best cuties out there c:

🅱- Fave student in Class 1-B: KENDO. She’s like an elder sister to Class 1-B, but also know their kids and help Class 1-A when Monoma is harrassing them LOL, she’s so mature and I’m very interested in her. She’s totally the supportive kind of girl <3

💪- Best boy?: Deku/Midoriya Izuku.

👄- Best girl?: Uravity/Uraraka Ochako.

🐼- Fave animal-related quirk: Mmmm... Hawk’s Fierce Wings, at least for the moment. I love birds and the freedom flying seems to make you feel.

⚠- Flaws of BNHA that you hate: It’s very fast sometimes, and also a little convenient at times (but it’s pretty easy to fall into this kind of flaws when you’re writing a shounen manga, yk).

🔱- Most fave class: Class 1-A. Our class! :)

⚓- Department/Team: I don’t really get what this refers to (sorry English is not my mother tongue). Like... the Big Three, the Wild Wild Pussycats, the Villain League...??? Like those groups? :( Maybe the Deku or Bagugo team/squad?

♣- Fave non-hero/villain character (civilian): If we’re talking about NOW, Toshinori, if he can be considered a civilian because, you know... But I always loved Deku’s mom and now I’m also interested in Tsukauchi with the Illegals manga going on <3 (Still, Dad Might surpasses all of you guys, haha, sorry not sorry).

🔝- Who is your top?: Not going to answer this u.u’. I don’t really have one! I don’t think about these kind of things while watching a shounen, really xD

⬇- Who is your bottom?: Same as last question.

🚿- Who would you like to take a bath/shower with?: A girl, of course. Whoever it was, but Tooru would be strange and interesting... LOL. DEFINITELY NOT MINETA, out of the guys.

👶- Best kid: Kid? ERI-chan hands down.

👀- Who has the most beautiful eyes?: I like Deku’s and Ochako’s ones’ design. Deku’s are the brightest and Ochako’s the most girlish. Both are the cutest ones.

💀- Fave Villain?: (Bakugou? LMAO jk). Mmmmm. Gentle & LaBrava? Not really crimminals though... I’ll go with Kurogiri then... He looks like the father figure of the Villain League LOL He always try hard to help others staying calm and reasoning, particularly Shigaraki Tomura. It makes me feel guilty but I lowkey like that kind of relationships even if they’re bad news.

💯- Best Female Teacher: ... Not Midnight (not very interested in)... so... is any other woman teacher in the series yet?? xD The poor Masegaki Gakuen one seems like an underdog, gotta support her LMAO

👏- Best Male Teacher: Aizawa, if we don’t count All Might. If we do, then him :) <3 (though he’s not very good at this work... It’ doesn’t matter LOL)

💉- Fave Pro-Hero that is not teaching: Fat Gum is really cute... I also kinda like Kamui & Hawks.

💐- Best mom: Izuku’s one. She’s the absolute best!! (Bakugo’s one is the funniest tho LMAO, poor kid, RIP)

😎- Best dad: Dad Might, I’m sorry but not really x’DDD Actual Dad, I guess Ochako’s one?

🔪- Worst dad: ENDEAVOR. And I know he’s trying to change, I want and encourage him to... but he’s still the worst dad that has appeared in the series yet, you know...

💦- Who’s your daddy/mommy (kink)?:  Not my thing, sorry.

🖤- Who’s your father and mother figure?: Dad Might. Also, my mother is very similar to Deku’s one, so I think I feel her relationship with Deku very close to mine with my mother.

💬- Fave BNHA quote: “Kimi no chikara janai ka?!”/“It’s your power, isn’t it?!”. I had problems to accept myself back then until I found MBTI. I’m an INFP and value authenticity and one’s quirkness (this is perfect xD “individual characteristics”) very much, so...

👠- Best female fashion/costume: We could say Mina’s the most fashionable out of the girls. But I prefer Tsuyu and Hagakure‘s cute fashion (whenever one of them is wearing something LOL), being my favourite her cat-ears-hoodie from the movie.

About hero costumes, Ochako’s one is the cutest (special mention to the Fantasy RPG Game ending one. That’s the cutestest).

👞- Best male fashion/costume: Bakugo. GoD, He’S sO sTyLiSh. I lOvE ThaT aBoUt HiM <333

About hero costume, Deku’s one is the cutest and seems to be one of the most comfortable ones. Particularly the Betta one or the Gamma with the new airfoce support gloves. I don’t like the large ones design (but I know they’re important to protect his arms).

⏺- Worst fashion/costume: Mineta.

🗑- Who is your trash?: Mineta. I’m sorry, but... just, no. LMAO.

♨- Ship that you would go down to: “Go down to” = stop shipping them or support them even in the darkest moments?

If it’s the first, I don’t think I can do that until one of my ships show affection towards another person (for example, Kyoka-chan falling in love with someone who’s not Kaminari = I’d instantly stop shipping them if the other guy will be canon with her. If not, then there’s still a chance for KamiJirou, an so on). I stopped shipping ToshInko when I realized Deku HAS a father, almost instant moment I began shipping it LOL. (Still, Dad Might’s my favourite for Deku).

If it’s the second, Izuocha FTW 💗!

🌌- BNHA AU: I can’t think about an AU world that’s better than the original, so I’ll just answer with my favourite fanfics here (not really AU) and run.

Favourite BNHA fanfics from:

Sevi007: Pure Dad Might +Deku fluff. We all need more of that in this our precious world.✨

Black Fuego Rio: IzuOcha, very IC, fluffy & awkward and has little sunshine Eri & AM/Toshinori in many of them! Perfect 👌

For if you wanna take a look. Totally recommend you to. They’re well written too.

💇- Weird hairdo: almost all the cast.

🎖- Hangout with in real life: Ochako & Tsuyu <3

📝- If you were given a chance to make a request to Horikoshi, what would it be?: I mean 😂😂 MAKE MORE IZUOCHA MOMENTS PLEASE??? Or more DadMight fluff. Or show Eri more :3 <3 Other questions/plot holes will be answered in time, so... just show me fluff :)

🎶- Sing you to sleep?: Awkward. Umm, Midnight? ñ.ñ 💦

🐻- Cuddle with?: ERI-chan.

🐰- Too pure/innocent character: My sweet bean Deku. Bless him.

Eri, oc.

Kirishima too?

Somehow, Toshinori also seems to me as the awkward innocent type. He’s very extroverted, so I don’t really know why I feel like that about him, but he’s still “idealistic” towards his world’s vision, maybe? (And he’s still cute X)).

🌻- Deserve better: Shinsou, I suppose. Poor guy has felt feared and rejected just for being him most of his life.

Also, Ingenium :c

🌷- Wish to have a no tragic background: If I’d say Deku, we wouldn’t have series xD

Where do I begin with?

Deku

Todoroki

Nana (so do Gran Torino & AM enter too?)

Eri

Mirio

Shinsou

Ingenium too

🦋- Most likely to be a gentleman:

From Class 1A:

Iida? Ojiro? Maybe Kirishima?

Kouda

SHOUJI

DEKU

From Class 1B:

Maybe Awase & Tetsutetsu. MAYBE (susprisingly enough), Monoma.

Others:

Tamaki & Inasa? GENTLE (yeah, shock). Maybe Toshi (God, that would be cute x)).

⌚- Fave old/middle-aged character (30+): Goodness, we don’t even know everyone’s age yet (yes, Toshi, that goes for you). We can always guess, you know? 😂😂

So, here’s an iluminating list:

Under 30s:

13

Cementoss

Mr. Joke

Masegaki’s teacher

Kamui

Mt. Lady

Manual

Fat gum

--

La Brava

30s or more:

Hound Dog.

Aizawa (so, AM... 7u7)

Mic (so, AM... x2)

Midnight

Ectoplasm

Power Loader

Vlad

Endeavor

Best Jeanist

Edgeshot (the ninja-like paper hero)

Gang Orca

Rock Lock

Pussycats: Mandalay - Tora - Pixie Bob - Ragdoll

Ingenium

Nighteye (so, AM... xD)

Centipeder

Snatch

Knuckleduster (illegals)

Tsukauchi & Samsa

Mera (the sleepy man of the License Exam)

Tsuyu’s, Kacchan’s & Jiro’s parents

Inko

--

Stain

Gentle

Teruo Hazukashii (wow, great character, greater quirk LMAO)

AfO (100+ LMAO)

Guesses (+)30:

AM & David Shield

Recovery Girl  & Gran Torino (duh).

Snipe & Takeshita (rather secondary heroes)

Crimson Riot, Gunhead & Forth Kind

Selkie & Mick (from Tsuyu’s first practice)

The Samurai-like hero, Nana & Knuckledust (Illegals), very probably.

Captain Celebrity :v (Illegals idiot)

Uwabami, Crust (no 6), Wash & Kota’s parents maybe not.

Miyage (newcaster)

Koichi’s mom (Illegals)

Deku’s dad & Todoroki’s mom

Most of Clas 1A’s parents (and Class 1B too)

--

Wolfram

Kurogiri

Gigantomachia

Giran

Twice, probably.

Mimic

Maybe Muscular, Magne (BTW, he is a she, or likes to be called like that, so maybe she’s transexual), Spiner, Moonfish, Mr. Compress, Chronostasis, some of the 8 expendables.

Tomura & Overhaul probably not.

So I’m between Tsukauchi & Aizawa if we ignore AM’s probable age 😂😂

⭐- Fav opening song: Peace Sign ✌

🌈- Fave ending theme: Long Hope Philia 🌺

🎙- Fave voice actor: Yamashita adorable DAIKI. He’s such a dork. Yet still he can play Deku very well, maybe because he’s so alike him. He can shout too (which is like a must for a shounen hero xD).

🎤- Fave character song: There isn’t yet. Probably someday we’ll have BNHA CS...

🎧- Fave OST: Yuki-san’s perfect as a composer for this series. My favourite one is “You Say Run”, duh.

💥- Fave battle/s: Cliche, but Deku vs Muscular & AM vs AfO. In terms of character developement, Deku vs Todoroki & Deku vs Kacchan 2 were perfectly written.

The fight vs stain was great too (and we’ll have to watch the Overhaul one in anime to judge it...).

🕳- Most shocking plot twist/unexpected scene: Deku freaking standing up against Muscular when he should be finished for right. It was indredible because I didn’t realized how much he had improved until then (even if it’s a typical emotional power up, I really didn’t expect him to have the energy, I swear O.O).

The first episode with AM’s true form was a comical one for this too, LOL.

And the king of the unexpected sceces: the Mirio’s introduction one x’DD

📷- Selfie with: Ochako, Mina or Hagakure :)

📚- Study in a library with: MOMO. Deku and Ochako (I’d feel more comfort with her around 'cause it’d probably be too silent until cinamon roll Deku started mumbling. The cute little dork 💗💗💗). Definitely not with Bakugo 😆😋

❗- Most underrated character: The Class 1A forgotten ones, maybe?:Aoyama, Koda, Ojiro & Sato

❕- Most overrated character: Todoroki or Bakugo, for sure, Well, I’m not even sure if they can bhe considered as “overrated” or just they deserve that position...

Maybe Hawks, because we don’t know him that well yet and he has so many fans already. Guys, calm down.

🔮- If you desire to see one’s ending? Who would it be?: Ending? Like, death? Or how he/she would end up?

✍-Change character design?: No. 13 & Shouji. I don’t really like it, OK? >.<

😇-Looks like a cinnamon roll, but it is a cinnamon roll.

☺- Cinnamon roll but would actually kill you

😬- Looks like would actually kill you, but it is a cinnamon roll.

😈- Looks like would actually kill you, and would actually kill you.

🤚- Over sexualized character

🍳- Cook with?

🤡- Funniest character

⚪- Best hardening quirk: Tetsutetsu/Kirishima?

🖕- Whose penis would be painful to be fucked? (LOL)

🦇- Best Goth character

💰-Shop with?

🎈- Fave OVA

♀- Would you let Momo spoil you with her quirk?

👋- Villain that you’d wish to be a hero

🤤- Needs to calm down

[parttimespellbinder]

Katekyo Hitman Reborn! Daily Life Arc

Hi! So, this is my first review of something on Tumblr and I’m really happy to start sharing things with people. I’ve always been incredibly opinionated and I like to share those with others. Bear in mind that this is a SPOILERS heavy review, and profanity will be rampant. So without further ado, let’s get started.

This is the story of Tsunayoshi Sawada, a boy so incredibly useless he makes a standard Harem lead look like a compelling and well written character. His grades are horrible, he has zero athletic ability and all together he’s pretty pathetic. He also happens to be the tenth generation heir to the Vongola crime family and is about to be whipped into shape by a fedora wearing, gun toting infant named Reborn. Now Tsuna’s day to day life is a series of hijinxs and misadventures centering around himself and the band of eccentric weirdos that orbit him like we do the Sun.

Reborn was initially penned by one Akira Amano way back in the ye olden days of 2004. It was a big hit at the time in Weekly Shonen Jump so it’s inevetiable that an anime adaptaion would eventually make it’s way down the pipeline. For the sake of brevity I will not be comparing Reborn to it’s source material and I will be attempting to omit the manga entirely unless relevant to this particular review. Even though I like to do it in my day to day life, I kinda hate the whole “let’s compare the adaptation to it’s source material” thing for reviews. I feel here that the anime, or at least this opening arc of it should be able to stand and fall on it’s own merits so...let’s see what it does, shall we? Mind you, all of what’s to follow is my own personal opinions. Cool if you agree, cool if you don’t. 

So if there’s one thing that Reborn’s never winning, it’s a best looking series award. The animation, courtesy of studio Artland (Demon King Daimao and Mushishi) is perfectly serviceable and, if anything,  I like that all the characters have a completely distinct look to them. The hair is totally Shonen, with all of them sporting their own unique style. Points go primarily to Tsuna and Reborn’s spiky hedgehog hairdos. But really and truly, Reborn definitely looks like something that’s been done more than a decade ago, and not in the really good stylistic way like Cardcaptor Sakura. Reborn just looks like a reflection of its time in the most average way possible while sporting some nice character designs. The animation gets kinda static at some points, especially when we like to get all of the relevant characters together for whatever that episode’s activities are. Then it gets worse because then we like to have them just stand around while we exposit a bit. But these moments are rather few and far between. The animation is, of course, at it’s best when we’re doing our high comedy slapstick and points are definitely given out to everyone’s big expressive eyes that were much bigger and more expressive in the manga.

The soundtrack and vocals are much better than the animation though, probably two of the show’s highlights. The vocal cast is absolutely excellent with some of the standouts being the titular Reborn’s, Neeko, and Hitomi Yoshida as the eccentric and bubbly Haru Miura. On the boys side of the vocals, I’ve got to say that Hidekazu Ichinose and Hidenobu Kiuchi definitely steal the show as Hayato Gokudera and Ryohei Sasagawa who tend to be the loudest of the performers. Everyone else does well too, delivering performances that are equal parts over the top, subdued and everything in between depending on what’s needed. The music is great as well, perfectly capturing the moments and characters in every episode. A lot of the characters have their own musical theme that play when they appear on screen or when doing something particularly epic. Special points here go to Bianchi, who gets some jazz and a vocalizing choir as well as Kyoya Hibari who’s theme starts with a few piano keys before jumping into an epic string frenzy. 

So, in these first 19 episodes, we essentially lay a lot of groundwork for the rest of the series that’s to come. The most important concept we introduce is that of “Deathperation”. Every episode, Tsuna and his friends encounter some sort of crisis, more often than not putting all of them or one of our weaker female characters in danger. Reborn will then turn his chameleon Leon into a gun and shoot Tsuna with a “Deathperation Bullet” which kills him but instantly revives him by allowing him to fulfill his last regrets. It’s a plot device that carries the bulk of the show and will continue to carry it though its run. Used here throughout these first 19 episodes, it’s alright, again its more just used to assist with the formulaic set up of the show. The problem I have with it is that we’ve essentially got about 9 episodes too many here and could’ve easily jumped right into the plot. This arc is supposed to introduce us to the world and the characters and it does, but it’s just a bit of a chore to sit though if you’re advertised a more action packed narrative, which Reborn eventually grows into. But really and truly starting the series just kinda leaves you meandering through 19 episodes before arriving at a rather abrupt tonal shift. The series you begin watching and the series you’re watching at episode 20 are rather different creatures, which is why I’m covering the show arc by arc rather than season by season.

So in addition to repetitive formula and lazy plot contrivances, Reborn also has one of the more passive shonen leads in a genre where....yeah….no. That just doesn’t work. Tsuna’s already set up to be practically pathetic in every way and with the introduction of Rebon and the Mafia into his life, Tsuna’s left just trying to survive his day to day life. And again, unless that kind of comedy and writing floats your boat, you’d be better off just watching a few episodes here and there and then just straight skipping right to episode 20 where the actual story starts. Mind you, this is again just my opinion. Reborn was wildly popular as a manga running on this kind of comedy to the point that it was able to do it for 8 straight volumes and was doing so for WEEKS in Weekly Shonen Jump. So clearly someone was heavily invested in this since it was able to keep going like that for WEEKS back to back. So really for me it’s more of a personal preference that my shonen series start with a bang. So we have Tsuna here just kinda...reacting to the weird shit happening in his life, never able to take initiative because of his own inability to actually do anything without Reborn there to pull the trigger and force him to take action. It’s just not the kinda thing that makes for a great leading man to start off with. But how do the other characters fare?

Sadly not particularly well. As the show is primarily a comedy at this point, the characters themselves are a little lacking in layers and depth, usually only existing to orbit Tsuna as if the sun. Oh how applicable that metaphor will become in seasons to come. But as it is, our characters at this point really and truly only have a couple of prominent character traits that are played up for all the comedy it's’ worth. So naturally it gets old fast. Related to the above, Gokudera and Ryohei are likely the most annoying when it comes to this. Gokudera pulls a total 180, initially hating Tsuna and then acting like a slavish dog towards him in the course of his introductory episode. His incessant cries of “JYUDAIME” and proclamations that he’s Tuna’s right hand man are more than just a little annoying and the same can be said for Ryohei’s “KYOKUGEN” lifestyle. Lambo is as annoying as any child in real life would be, which if you hate children like I do will be a rather lovely experience, that is until he’s shot by his 10 Year Bazooka, replacing him with his future self who instantly entered my pantheon of anime men I want to fuck. Pervy Shamal’s a total perv, Bianchi believes in love and is always on the lookout for her poison cooking ingredients and I-Pin is in no way a stereotypical Chinese anime character. Nope, not at all. Yamamoto is easy enough to get behind, with his eternal optimism and stupidity being strangely endearing and Haru, while loud and spaztic is LITERALLY BEST GIRL! OMG MY WAIFU! The worst of the characters is probably Kyoko Sasagawa, or resident sexy lamp. 

Kyoko exists like so many love interest characters before her to show that while our protagonist spends a lot of time interacting with members of the same sex he’s still straight and expresses an interest in one single girl. Tsuna spends most of his time fawning over Kyoko who has just barely enough personality that she doesn’t feel like a total piece of cardboard but she walks a fine line. She literally does nothing relevant and spends most of her time being an inadvertent damsel for Tsuna can save like his life depends on it - which according to the internal series logic of these 19 episodes, he never thought of doing before getting shot by Reborn. Like, she’s not bad, she’s just kinda...there. Tsuna likes her and it’s like...why? She’s pretty, like all of the girls in a shonen show, especially a main one, Kyoko is designed to be very cute but her personality is seriously lacking so it makes you as a viewer wonder why Tsuna is so in love with her. It’s actually kinda insulting that he likes her so much when Haru GENUINELY likes him and actually HAS a personality and he acts like he’ll contract plague if she so much as breathes in his general direction. Tsuna you should be so lucky that Haru even thinks to breathe in your general direction, you insolent swine!!!

But what’s good about the show? Is there anything? Actually yes, there is. As mentioned before, from the character standpoint, Haru is the best damn thing and Yamamoto makes for a great friend to Tsuna. The running gag that he thinks the whole Mafia thing is just a game gets a little annoying but we can’t have everyone taking the whole thing seriously, now can we? Additionally, and I never thought I’d EVER say this but Reborn himself is actually a saving grace. The shit he puts Tsuna though is incredibly sadistic and over the top but he does it so flawlessly that it’s genuinely hilarious. Additionally I like the sibling-like relationship between Tsuna and Dino, the head of an allied family who ALSO instantly entered my pantheon of hot men I want to fuck when I first saw him. While the character jokes get annoying there’s just barely enough to most of them that hints that there’s more to them than what we’re allowed to see. If anything, and I’m speaking from experience, everyone will be much better once the plot is allowed to rear its ugly head. Tsuna himself exhibits very very subtle character growth. He’s less of a wimp than he starts off as but we’ll really see his growth in the arc to follow. The comedy is GREAT when the jokes are used sparingly or when they pop up for the first time. And despite him being an annoying piece of shit, Lambo is laughs aplenty when the slapstick is happening to him.

It’s honestly hard to significantly praise these first episodes and indeed this show at this point because everything about it just kinda feels like a waste of time. Aside from the initial character introductions, you don’t really need to sit through all 19 episodes. Maybe just watch episodes 1-10 and then 19 and you can skip right to episode 20 which contains the meat of the show. How do I feel about it after all these years? Well, I do love Reborn, warts and all I just don’t appreciate my time being wasted, but here I am about to go and keep watching because I know in my heart of hearts that it’ll be worth it. So, I’d this first arc a...5.5 out of 10. It’s just engaging enough to me personally because I know it’s an unpolished piece of coal at this point and I’m waiting for my diamond to break through. So...those are my initial thoughts. Join me again next time for a review of The Novice and my follow up to this with the Rokudo Mukuro/Kokuyo arc. Special thanks to my little sister Krystal for helping me form and shape the review and offering her opinions on it as well. She also helped to edit it.

[tixelsketchbookuniverse]

Name: Mystic (Pronounced like Miss-Tic) Nickname(s): Mr Crystal, Mysty (Nickname from Muffet and his adopted siblings), Sweetie (Taffy), Pudding (Muffet) Gender: Male Age: 25 years (backstory), Around 30 Years (current) Species/What Are They: Crystal Monster Just a head's up! The way I wrote the info about his breed is a little jumbled up. This is my first time making a new species, so 1) It's probably not the best, but I'll get better, and 2) I wasn't sure what order everything should be in, so sorry about that ^ Fan made creature. Crystal Monsters are humanoid monsters that are born from crystal caves near Waterfall. Their entire bodies are made of rock and crystal. They are actually hollow and don't require food or water to live, but they can consume foods and drink if they so choose. Those that chose to consume foods have drill a little hole in their foot to evacuate the food which they then have to plug in with a cork or something. They are also unaffected by the climat, as they do not feel the cold or warmth. So they can live virtually anywhere. The fact that they are mostly hollow makes them incredibly fragile, they can be compared to china teacups. If one were to fall from a high place (ex: On top of a wardrobe) their body would smash on impact. The only place were they are not hollow is inside their mouths. A crystal monster's maturity is measured by how many small crystals appear on their bodies. They appear on the face (typically cheeks and forehead but it can vary), ankles, back, neck, collar, legs and biceps. A mature adult Crystal monster has crystals on all these places. Crystals can appear in other places but it's less common. The crystals never stop growing so they have to either be cut off or shaved when they get too big. Cutting them and shaving them doesn't hurt, it's just like clipping your nails. However if ripped out, it would cause intense pain. This is actually the only time a Crystal monster would feel pain, as they are immune to it the rest of the time. Especially rare CMs have these crytals covering their heads (instead of their stone "hair"), this is the case for Mystic's sister Burma. All other CMs are born with a large rounded square stone on their heads, which is their "hair". Most wait until they are at a more mature age to style it or cut it off completely. Styling it is stone carving, which can be hard to do. Most prefer to cut the entire thing off and resort to wigs or plugging their heads with fake hair (the top of their heads is hollow after all). They live for about 80 years, and only reach full adulthood at around 30 years. However if a crystal monster proves that they are capable of taking care of themselves before that (which most are) they are legally adults. A crystal monster's body is whatever colour crystal they are born from, Mystic was born from a Rose Quartz, so his primary colour is pink. Crystal monsters are named after adjectives associated with gemstones (Ex: Smoky (Quartz), Paraiba (Tourmaline), Snowflake (Obsidian), Kurma (Sapphire), Mystic (Topaz) etc... When hit in combat they do not bleed, the impacted zones crumble away or crack, and if hit hard enough fall off. This is also an issue when they are looking for jobs. Because they are so vulnerable they can't do jobs that require hard manual labour or anything that could cause even small injuries. When in combat a CM will try and make as much distance as possible from their opponent and will use projectiles for weapons and attacks. They can create crystals and use them to fight, known as Crystal Magic. The crystals also start to grow around where a CM settles for a long time, essentially marking it's territory. While rare, it is possible for a baby to be born from them. The ability to use said crystals varies from person to person. It appears to be that rarer gemstones have more powerful Crystal Magic than more common gems. Mystic's brother Honey is one them, as he is able to create entires houses out crystals. He is subsequently an architect who charges very high prises for his Gemstone Homes. Music and dancing is very important to their race, it's a big part of their culture. Most of them go into the entertainment business as singers and dancers. They have the reputation of being fragile and while beautiful, they are actually meretricious. This is not actually the case. Their souls are white like all the other monsters, but they are all enclosed in a crystal that protects it. Mystic's soul is protected by a pink crystal, so it appears pink in combat. They are not born with gender defining body parts, they are like Barbie and Ken dolls under their clothes. They are genderless, but female CMs tend to have wider hips, while males have wider shoulders and torsos. They are all born with a large rock on their heads which could be considered hair. It always starts off looking like a rock afro, and they have to carve and shave them to have a better hairdo. However it doesn’t grow, so they have to be very careful with it. A lot of them cut them off entirely and resort to wearing wigs. (It has been brought to my attention the similarities between the CMs and the Gems from the Steven Universe. Despite agreeing that they are very similar, I have to stress it was purely coincidence  I DO watch SU, but it never came to mind when making my species. The two have nothing to do with each other, and I didn't intentionally rip-off the gems. This is just a massive oops from me) Soul (Color): Pastel Pink, crystallised; White, vulnerable Sexuality: Homosexual ~BATTLE INFO~ -Honestly at the moment I'm really not 100% sure about his attack powers and levels and stuff, so this part is still a WIP. HP: 1000 (looses 500 hp when he looses the crystals around his SOUL, and 500 hp again when struck a final time) Atc: 36 Def: 0 (crumbles when hit) Exp: 400 LV: Unknown Powers/Attacks: Crystal Shard (single shard that pops out from either side of the box) (initial attack to see if the protagonist is serious about fighting him) Crystal Shard combo (series of crystals coming from either side of the box) (main attack) Rolling Crystal Screw (series of small spinning crystals that circle around the player's SOUL before being thrown at it one by one) Crystal Megaton Shower (Shower of fast moving small crystals falling from the top of the box followed by a giant one) Weapons: None, manipulates crystals (technically not a weapon, more like an element) Oh wait he throws tea, tea cups and tea pots at you as a last resort Fighting Style: Long distance, element user (Crystals), Crystal projectiles ~RELATIONSHIP INFO~ Friends With: Muffet, Nice Cream Guy, Asgore, Frisk (Pacifist and Neutral Route), Grillby, Nyki and Chi , Taffy , Cypher , Betsy Bell , Hairy Popper , Jackie Lantern , Kasper Tanopl , Farren Mystic has a one sided friendship with Chi, a demon monster. She doesn't want anything to do with anyone, while Mystic wants to help her come out of her shell and enjoy life. It's not going well so far. Neutral With: Almost everyone, he sees everyone as either a potential friend or customer Enemies With: Flowey, Asriel Frisk (Genoside Route), Taffy (more rivals than enemies) (Reconciled) Family: None technically, but considers every other Crystal Monster he knows his family, as he grew up with them, they all see each other as siblings; Angel (Surrogate Mother), Honey (Adopted Brother), Sky (Adopted Brother)(sta.sh/0qbb9zf92wu) , Snowflake (Adopted Sister), Burma (Adopted Sister), Unnamed number of older and younger adopted siblings Crush(es): Asgore (Small crush but that ain't going nowhere), Taffy (But it'll be a cold day in hell when he admits it) Single, Taken, Or Talking (If the last two, with who): Married (Taffy) ~PERSONALITY~ In his youth, Mystic was headstrong and ambitious. He had a habit of biting off more than he can chew, and as a result often ended up failing at what he set out to do. He used to be very proud and could be considered pig headed. He’s an optimist however, and he’ll always try again when he fails. He took himself way to seriously, which resulted in him often getting laughed at by other for his behaviour. He’s pretty sensitive, so that didn’t sit well with him. He was, and still is, very patient and dedicated. But something he concentrates too hard on a task and can become unpleasant to deal with. He had a lot of growing up to do, but now he has changed for the better. His uptight and proud attitude has mellowed out, he’s a very “chill” guy now. He's kind and patient to everyone he meets, and loves a good chat with a cup of tea. He now fully embraces his other side. His passionate, imaginative and wonderfully ambitious side. He’ll forever be a workaholic, but he loves his life and isn’t unpleasant about it anymore. He’s unrivalled in rampant enthusiasm and passion for his business, proudly calling it his pride and joy. He holds his heritage very close to his heart. He's a very talented singer and dancer. His personal favourite being swing dancing (he can't resist a little jazz music), but he's knows quite a few more. He learned a lot from working with his siblings on stage shows, so he knows mambo (Honey), Jive (Sky), Disco (Sky), Tango (Burma, though she never let him lead) among others. He is very enthusiastic about tea, musicals and singing. He installed a TV in his shop and has a large collection of musicals on VHS which he plays while working, often singing along and dancing a little behind the counter. He can get very pushy and won't let go of a task until he succeeds (but will stop eventually if another person convinces him to). He inherited Angel's stubbornness, that's for sure! He's a bit of a hoarder, he hates throwing away stuff, so his house is very cluttered and full of old stuff he doesn't need. He's sassy and a fast talker, and listens to little too much gossip. And he's a total diva. Like the worst kind. Strengths: Good projectile attacks, makes a great cup of tea Weaknesses: Abysmally physically weak, literally falls apart if struck in battle Flaws: Dorky, takes himself too seriously, quick to judge, Clumsy, clingy, pushy, loud and proud (previously), Stubborn, Sensitive, Can be short tempered (previously), Impatient (previously) Likes: Tea (WOW who saw that coming?), Pudding, Cakes, Donuts, Being a Gentleman, Pink, Muffet's food, Happy Customers, Yogurt, Musicals (namely Hello, Dolly!), Singing, Dancing, Everything Pink, 1920s aesthetic Dislikes: Coffee, Awkward Customers, Embarrassing himself, Failure, Mess, Unrequited crushes, being bested at things by Taffy, being seen as a joke, being laughed at, socks and sandals Fears: His Business Failing, Cockroaches, Water (Rocks can't swim they plummet) Pacifist Route/Neutral Route: Mystic's tea parlour can be found by the player in Snowdin. When you first enter the shop/parlour Mystic will get scared and will hide behind the counter. To lure him out, the place must select the dialogue option to "say a heartfelt compliment about tea/the colour pink". Mystic will stop hiding and say "Oh my! Well maybe humans can be civil after all! How may I help you, teacup?" You have to buy some tea from Mystic and say yes to him offering a chat with you to become his friend. During the conversation you learn of his backstory and likes. After this you can buy and sell items to him like any other shop keeper (however he only sells tea) and he has an optional mini game for you to grind money. It's a very simple give the right order to the right person mini game and your timing and accuracy determines your final paycheque. This mini game is always available, and depending on what point of the game you're at, characters you've met will appear as customers (Ex: Papyrus, Undyne etc...). You can also have a Chat with Mystic any time you want to replenish your health completely, and you learn more stuff about him in the chat. He calls the player "Teacup". You only fight him in the Genoside Route. In the Pacifist and Neutral Route he is either stand behind the counter of his parlour, or walking around the tables. In the G Route, he is standing in front of the counter. Genoside Route: Unlike the rest of the townsfolk, Mystic refuses to go into hiding. He keeps his shop open, despite no longer getting customers, because he believes he's worked too hard and too long to just abandon it (He's not a very smart rock). The player does end up meeting him and to get the true genoside route you have to kill him. Mystic's attacks are projectiles that the player has to avoid. While he attacks the player will spot a hand or a foot (indicating which body part Mystic used to make the attack). The player simply has to touch each one twice (two for left hand, two for left foot etc...) with their SOUL to break them. When done correctly, Mystic becomes his most vulnerable (having no limbs as they were broken off) and is left defenceless. One hit at this stage does a substantial amount of damage to him and the crystal around his soul is destroyed. After the one hit he regenerates his lost limbs and the player has to repeat the previous step. After that, Mystic is dead. From the fight the player collects the small crystals on his body and can sell them. ~APPEARANCE~ Eye Color: Pink Height: 5'6 Weight: (I'm not too sure what to write for this. Mystic is made of rock, which is heavy, but he's also mostly hollow, which would make him lighter.) Clothes: His work clothes consist of a white shirt and dark grey trousers. He wears red shiny shoes. He sometimes wears a black fedora with it, but not often (because it's rude to wear hats inside). When making his hand made tea he wears a mostly clean white apron over his clothes. On special events he wears a dark grey dress suit vest over his shirt. His style is inspired from the 1920s When he was younger he wore an oversized shirt (it was blue with different coloured stripes), grey-pink trousers and orange plastic sandals. Hair: Used to have a block of stone that was his natural "hair", it looked like a solid afro. As a young adult he cut it off and had his head replugged with pale pink wool which he now styles short and curly. Skin: Pale Pink Other: The moron's fashion sense makes it so that he often wears high heels, but he's too clumsy to actually walk in high heels so he typically doesn't move around a lot when at work. He has a crack on his left cheek that he got from a punch. He airbrushes it in the morning with pink paint to make it less obvious. He has small crystals on his cheeks, neck, back, and left thigh. While he does like them, and they show his maturity, they tend to get in the way of his work and would require him making holes in all his clothing. If he was in show-business, he would have let them grow out. ~OTHER INFO~ Alignment: Good Goals/Purpose: Run a successful business, getting enough money to buy his shop to beat Taffy (succeeded) Job: Tea shop owner  teaandpixels.deviantart.com/ar… Various odd jobs (previously) Entertainment (Theatre and part time singer) (previously) Items: Infinite number of tea brews and tea boxes to sell Voice: Nick Pitera www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZ0Km_… Theme song: Don't Rain On My Parade, Barbara Streisand www.youtube.com/watch?v=aO3Gb5… OR Mad Tea Party www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdVoZC… ~BACKSTORY~ (Note: This is a pretty long backstory, and I still need to iron out details and stuff. I worked really hard on it, and I know I can still improve it. The backstory might be a little too long for an Undertale oc thought. I don't know. And finally, I've structured the story to follow the movie format (three act structure with an overarching character arc) and in my mind, if it would be told with musical intervals. Think movies like Greatest Showman and Hello Dolly!.) Backstory: Mystic was born in a cave hidden deep in Waterfall. It’s the birthplace of all Crystal monsters and it is said to be exceptionally beautiful but very difficult to find. A glamorous diamond monster named Angel, who had tasked herself with caring for all newly born Crystal Monsters, found him while doing her monthly trip to the cave to find/"harvest" newly borns. Upon finding him, she notices how the crystals on the walls were glowing this time of year and that it looked truly mystical to her. This reminded her of a baby she'd found the month prior, who had taken a fall and shattered before she could save him. That baby was born from a Mystic Topaz, so she named the newfound baby Mystic. Mystic was found with four other babies, Snowflake, Honey, Sky and Burma. He grew up with all the other CMs she’d adopted and new siblings were a common occurrence. Angel had made an absolute fortune for herself as a drag queen in her youth (she is still a drag queen to this day) (as well as many marriages to many wealthy men) and she’d bought herself a palace like house with an east and west wing to accommodate everyone. She often likes to boast that her home is actually a palace, which may or may not be true. But it is certainly a very nice place to live. Mystic was closest to the four he was found with, the five always being together. One day they were playing outside in the rain in Waterfall, when Mystic and Sky wandered off on their own to look at the castle. They are surprised by a monster they'd accidentally woken up, and in their fright they take a stumble and fall down a rocky ledge. Their fall is broken by a bush they fall into, but Sky's arm gets cracked on the impact, it was dangerously close to being broken off completely. Mystic landed on his face, cracking his cheek a little, but nothing too bad. It was too dark for them to see how to climb back up, and they were too scared to even try. They wonder through the stone and bush forest they'd landed in, calling out for help. They keep walking for a long time, well into the night, Mystic eventually carrying his now crying brother. They reach a lake were they stop to rest. By this point they were both crying, and had no idea what to do. They are approached by a tall figure, and in his terror Mystic accidentally creates a big pink crystal shard to shield him and Sky. The figure told them to not be scared, and that he meant no harm. It was King Asgore. They brings them in to the castle to rest, and he offers them tea to make them feel better. Sky, still scared and wary of him, refuses. But Mystic accepts, and it's love at first taste. He'd never had anything like it before. This began his tea addiction. Asgore brought the two back to Angel the following day, promising them they'd meet again one day. They were both grounded for a week. But Mystic didn't care, he knew he'd found his DESTINY. The crystal children all had relatively similar plans for their futures. Going into show business or marrying into money. They are naturally talented in singing and due to them being born from precious gems they are typically very lovely looking. But Mystic knew what he wanted, he wanted to open a tea shop of his very own. He grew up into a young man, a set off to accomplish his dream. Many many people tried to discourage him from pursuing his dream. They said he was too young and naïf, and if it wasn't for his afro like hair and mismatched clothing style, he could get by in show business with his looks alone. He worked at as many odd jobs as he could to get money (markets, waiter, cleaning jobs etc) and saved up every penny. He eventually sets his sights on a cute little place up for sale located in the Hotlands that had a big shed next door. For him it was perfect because it would be his parlour and a house at the same time. He talks with the owner of the place about buying it, only to find someone else also had their sights on it. The other person was a Spider monster named Taffy. The two debated with the owner over who should get it and got more and more passive aggressive with each other as the conversation went on. The owner finally decided that since neither of them actually had enough money to buy the place, they should race and whoever manages to get the right amount by the end of the year would win. And if both of them had enough it was however with more that would win. They agree, but the second Mystic and Taffy are alone together they verbally fight, vowing to take the other down. Taffy lays down the cold hard truth that Mystic had no idea what he was doing, to which Mystic squawked a lot of "WHAT?"s. The argument ends with Taffy calling Mystic “You're just a joke, sweetie”. Growing up, Mystic became very good friends with Muffet and at some point he met Grillby and they’ve been friends ever since. He went straight to them to complain about Taffy, and they lay the hard truth on them that he really didn’t know anything about running a business and that Taffy was already ahead of him by leaps and bounds. It turns out Muffet and Taffy were also old friends. So Muffet and Grillby agree to teach Mystic in the ways of owning a business. He takes their lessons and advice very seriously and eventually gets up to speed with them. Mystic and Taffy have a lot of run-ins from that point on, and they butt heads every time. They both get waiter jobs at a local restaurant and have to deal with each other on a daily basis. Taffy is popular within the restaurant and around town, which Mystic hates. Their rivalry goes beyond the place they both want and they fight over everything. And what infuriates Mystic more is how many people side with Taffy and see him as little more than a complete joke. Taffy just seemed to be good at everything, and was naturally very charming and could talk in the most infuriatingly condescending way to Mystic. It made Mystic's blood boil. Taffy was constantly discouraging Mystic from pursuing the place, he was way too young! Their co-workers teased him that they were actually flirting, but he wasn't having ANY of that and told them to jog on. His brother Honey tells Mystic that one way to be taken more seriously is to update his appearance. He’d been so dedicated on his work that he didn’t take any time to look presentable. He was meant to be 25 but he looked like a 15 year old. With Burma, Honey helps him buy new clothes (Mystic has a love for 1920s inspired suits) and they make the bold decision to cut off his hair. They replaced it by rerooting pale pink yarn into his head and styled it. Snowflake chips in and teaches him how to apply make-up. The make-over does him a world of good. The restaurant he was working at was hosting a staff party, Burma decided it would be the perfect chance for Mystic to show them he was serious. They go with him as moral support, and everyone is very impressed with his new look. He inevitably gets into an argument with Taffy, though it was much more flirtatious than normal. They challenge each other to a dance off. Taffy was a gifted dancer (“Oh of COURSE he is” Mystic muttered bitterly) but he was no match for Mytic’s natural talent. And the music was jazzy, perfect for swing dancing, Mystic's favourite style of dance. Neither of them could hide how much fun they were having. Eventually everyone forgets that this was a “fight” of sort and just left them to it. They danced for a while until they realised what they were doing. They quickly separated and went their different ways. Taffy actually ends up leaving, accidentally forgetting his coat. Mystic notices this, and decides to bring it to him (he'll later claim it was the punch he'd be guzzling that had scrambled his brain). He gets directions from Muffet, and he sets off. He expects to go to some high end place full of very well off snobby people, but ends up going downtown to the poorest parts of the Underground. This was odd, as Taffy was always well dressed and groomed, a proper gentleman. (Note that for this story, I am expanding how big the Underground is a little). As he begins to wonder if he's taken a wrong turn, he hears some faint singing. He follows the voice to a run down make-shift home. He peeks inside to see Taffy standing over a table making something while humming a little tune. This surprises Mystic. With the way Taffy dresses and how he holds himself, one wouldn't assume he lived like this. He then feels pretty stupid, remembering that Muffet's whole spider family is poor, so Taffy wouldn't be any different. He joins in on Taffy's song, scaring the poor man half to death. Taffy is mortified that Mystic found out where he lived, and more importantly how he lived. He orders him to leave, but Mystic yells back, telling him he was only doing a favour by bringing his coat back. This calms Taffy down a little, taking said coat from Mystic. There's an awkward silence before the Crystal Monster asks him what he's making. Taffy explains he was making sweets. They end up talking about them, Taffy explaining that he wanted to open up his own sweet shop. Mystic then mentions that Taffy was pretty good at fooling everyone into thinking he wasn't poor. Taffy explains that your outward appearance is always going to be judged by others. If he looked and acted like everyone else, he was going to be respected. He hated living like that, he hated having to be someone else to appease others. But if he wanted to be taken seriously, he had to adapt. That was why he often criticised Mystic. Despite everything, he hates seeing someone get laughed at and pitied. It sickened him. Mystic promises he would never tell anyone about his secret. A Crystal Monster keeps their secrets til the grave. Everyone starts treating Mystic a little different from then on. People take him much more seriously. He also hangs out with Taffy a lot more often (that his time would allow) and they end up becoming ‘frenemies’ of sort. However things take a turn when Mystic meets Taffy’s friend Nyki, a demon monster. Taffy makes it very clear that he likes Nyki more than as a friend and that doesn’t sit well with Mystic. But he refuses to admit it, even to himself. Taffy also stops discouraging Mystic from buying the place, to his confusion. Mystic suddenly realises that the end of the year was fast approaching and yes he was steadily grinding away at the money he needed, he wasn’t even close to having enough. He needed to stop wasting time. The sudden stress of this and the whole Nyki business made Mystic a pain to deal with. He was frustrated at everything and just poured every fibre of his soul into getting that money. Taffy himself actually gets very confused and concerned by this, and they start fighting again like before. The year was up. Mystic ends up loosing to Taffy, and everything in his world crumbles. He shuts off from everyone, wallowing in self pity. He couldn’t believe he’d lost. But he was too proud and stubborn to admit he’s maybe bitten off more that he could chew. He’s a bitter loser, ending up drinking away his sorrow in a bar. He’s found, drunk, by a very concerned Taffy. In his drunken stupor, he starts another fight with him. At some point, Mystic angry shouts at him that’d only won because everyone took pity on him because he was poor. This sends Taffy over the edge, and attacks Mystic in his rage. They physically fight each other, but it comes to an abrupt end when Taffy lands a solid hit on Mystic’s cracked cheek, breaking it. His cheek cracks and crumbles to pieces. This breaks up the fight immediately, regret hitting Taffy like a truck. They gather all the pieces, including having to shake Mystic upside down to retrieve anything inside of him (which also removed all the alcohol in him at the same time). Taffy takes him home, where Mystic’s siblings help glue his face back together. All his siblings come to see if he was alright, and suddenly he understood. He’d been acting horribly and unfairly towards everyone since the start. He’d been to dead-set on his dream that he’d forgotten everyone who supported him and loved him. Even Taffy. He’d come to find him in that bar, concerned about his wellbeing. He’d been so selfish to everyone, and he’d hurt Taffy. He apologises to everyone, and promises that from now on, he wasn’t going to be blind. He was going to change. He was going to pursue his dream, but this time with new found passion. He works with his siblings, playing to his strengths (singing and dancing), in their stage shows. He’d play background characters, and occasionally got bigger roles. He eventually set his sights on a new place. It was still Snowdin, and he knew it was right. He worked very hard, and with his family and friend’s help, he finally bought the place. With help from his friends and family he turned the place into a charming tea parlour and handmade every sachet of tea for it. The grand opening was one of the happiest moments of Mystic’s life, and of course he requested that the dress code was Dapper. Asgore came too, much to everyone's surprise. He, Sky and Mystic have a little chat, catching up after all these years. The brothers finally thanking him for helping them all those years ago, to which the King told them to "not worry about it, all he wants in return is a mean cup of tea." Mystic obliges. Mystic's triumph actually had a very impactful impact on Crystal Monster culture in general. He had proved that they didn't have to be what everyone thought they should. Cousins, siblings and friend were coming to him announcing career plans and projects they were starting thanks to him. He has pushed them to go for what they really wanted. Even his brother Honey talked to him about a company he wanted to start, a house building business he's calling "Gemstone Homes". Mystic was over the moon about it. But things didn’t feel right. He wanted Taffy to be there, he needed Taffy to be there. And sure enough, Taffy came. He brought Mystic a bouquet of flowers as a congratulations gift and they asked each other for forgiveness. Mystic says that he’d only forgive Taffy if he let him eat as many sweets as he liked, and Taffy says he’d only forgive Mystic if they danced together tonight. And so they did. I don't own Undertale

[otomeshistarlight-blog]

Here we go again! Lets see how far we make it this time! Some spoilers ahead so continue at your own risk.

28: Who is your top? Uhh, you asking what I think you asking? eyeemoji.jpg. So, of my established harem, Endeavor is by far the most likely to top as well as the one who’d enjoy it the most. Overall, I think the others would be down to try and they’d do things at their own pace but by and large, I think Flame Daddy would get off on it more than anyone else. Mirio is the only one who may not be down to give it a shot but he might surprise us!

29: Who is your bottom? This is a question that I, a certified uppity submissive, cannot properly answer. I have yet to seen anyone in this series who I’d be willing to top for the benefit of, as was the case with Ichimatsu. Maybe my answer will change in the future though!

30: Who would you like to take a bath/shower with? Everyone. This is a two part answer. First, I’d very much like to bathe with Endeavor. u.u Imagine with me, being in an open air bath, and going through the ritual of washing him from head to toe, taking extra care with each individual body party to show him just how invested in worshiping him I am. Then we switch, and in stark contrast to my careful washing, he treats my body like his personal plaything before abso-fucking-lutely rawing my brains out. Phew. Part two of my answer is Dabi. A nice, intimate shower in which we can explore each others body’s - me more so than him - and I just think it would be really nice to be with him in such a ... vulnerable situation. He doesn’t appear to shy away from showing off his burns (or whatever the fuck they are) but to have them all out on full display to a woman who conceivably could run away screaming in terror but doesn’t is something else altogether. What would he say? What would he do? Ooh, so many fun ideas!

31: Best kid? From an unbiased standpoint, I’d probably have to go with Uraraka. She really is a good kid who just wants to take care of her parents and make some friends along the way. I really can’t fault her for a goddamn thing.

32: Who has the most beautiful eyes? The men of the Todoroki family - Dabi preemptively included in that statement. Who gave them the fucking right?

33: Fave Villain? Right now its Toga. She’s cute. She’s deadly. She’s in love. I want her to succeed with every fiber of my being.

34: Best Female Teacher? Considering how limited my choices are, Midnight.

35: Best Male Teacher? Aizawa because even though he’s forever tired and completely done with everyone’s shit, he still goes out of his way to care for not only his own students but apparently every kid he runs into. Just because he’s a pro hero doesn’t mean that he was at all obligated to become Eri’s guardian so the fact he took that upon himself says a lot to me. 

36: Fave Pro-Hero that is not teaching? Endeavor. Seriously, fuck all of you haters. He worked damn hard to reach the number one spot and just because his methods weren’t always correct, it doesn’t automatically negate all of the good he’s done in-universe. 

37: Best mom? Probably Jiro’s mom, Mika. From what I remember of her brief appearance in the manga, she seemed like a pretty solid parent. 

38: Best dad? Dadzawa for the reasons described in 35. 

39: Worst dad? First of all, I don’t appreciate this biased as fuck list and I think its really telling that there isn’t a ‘worst mom’ question. Second, I’ll personally fight each and every person who has an issue with Endeavor so this question can honestly eat my ass. 

40: Who’s your daddy/mommy? Big Flame Daddy, Endeavor! Unf. I also not so ironically call Fat Gum vore daddy so go ahead and put me on your list of problematic bloggers right now.

41: Who’s your father and mother figure? I don’t usually look for platonic mother/father figures but if I had to pick someone to be my dad, it would probably be Aizawa. He’s a good dad, guys. Let the man parent in peace.

42: Fave BNHA quote? “My two most hated phrases are ‘hard work’ and -” wait, shit. Wrong fandom, thats Jojo. 

43: Best female fashion/costume? I think Uraraka’s costume is really cute, especially the big poofy boots.

44: Best male fashion/costume? I’m gonna’ have to go with the newly introduced Hawks for having the least offensive and most generally aesthetically pleasing outfit that barely even passes as a costume from the looks of it. 

45: Worst fashion/costume? All of them. Aoyama for sure and Best Jeanist deserves a mention too. Honestly, there are aspects of almost all the costumes I would change for one reason or another. Like, in my opinion, Bakugou has got to lose the hair accessories and Ojiro doesn’t even have a costume. Its a regular old gi you’d wear in a training hall with a gadget belt to really bring the whole thing together. I’ve got my fingers crossed they get to tweak their costume designs in their second year because this is some shit. 

46: Who is your trash? Uh, you mean all the characters I stan?

47: Ship that you would go down with? Fuck a ship, I’ll go down with Bakugou and Endeavor as individual characters until I’m dead in the ground.

48: BNHA AU? My favorite is the AU where people manage to set aside their personal feelings and look at characters like Endeavor with an impartially critical eye and base their judgement of said character based on that alone instead of their initial knee jerk reaction that essentially boils down to THIS ACTION IS BAD SO THE PERSON IS INHERENTLY BAD TOO.  

49: Weird hairdo? Present Mic’s hair is awful. Fight me.

50: Hangout with in real life? I want to absolutely destroy a 24-hour buffet with Fat Gum and then bang in the parking lot afterward. 

Guys, I’m having fun answering these but why are there so many questions!? I’m so sorry for starting this and being too prideful to stop halfway through! 

[mst3kproject]

Fire Monsters Against the Son of Hercules

This here Sword-And-Sandal epic was directed by Guido Malatesta, who wrote the screenplay for Colossus and the Headhunters, and stars Margaret Lee, of Secret Agent Super Dragon; Luciano Marin, of Hercules and the Captive Women; and Andrea Aureli, of The Loves of Hercules. Clearly this one is fully qualified, even without the hilariously unconvincing monsters that peer out of every corner.  My copy is an ancient VHS that looks like sun-baked shit and for some reason has no title card.

A tribe of cavemen, who I will call the Sun Tribe, are migrating south to escape the ice age.  They reach the edge of the glacier, I guess, and build a village, but soon find themselves being menaced from multiple angles.  There’s a stupid monster puppet living in the local lake, and another tribe already making their home nearby, the Moon Tribe, who have a strict anti-immigration policy.  Lucky for them, Maxus the Son of Hercules happens to be in the area, and he’s all about fighting monsters and protecting the rights of refugees!  Lots of people swing Styrofoam clubs and throw fake spears at each other, more terrible puppet things show up so Maxus can kill them, and I sit and think about how Cave Dwellers would be a much better title for this movie than it was for Cave Dwellers.

Holy fuck, you guys, this movie is so bad.  It has its dull stretches but most of them don’t go on too long, and whenever something is actually happening it is hilariously awful.  I could fill this whole review with a bullet list of the moments that made me laugh.

We’ll start with the dubbing, which critic Howard Hughes (not that Howard Hughes) described as the worst of all time.  He clearly hasn’t seen Gamera vs Guiron but it’s still really bad.  It’s not so much the performances, which are kind of crappy but no more so than in a thousand other lousy imported movies.  It’s the lipsync, or rather, the lack thereof.  Nobody made any effort to match the English dialogue to the way the actors’ mouths move. Sometimes it’s distracting. Sometimes it’s funny as hell. Sometimes it’s annoying. Sometimes it loops right back around to being funny again.  The best part is that to re-release Maciste Contro i Mostri as Fire Monsters against the Son of Hercules, they had to dub the name Maxus over every occurrence of Maciste.  The guy they hired to do so has a voice several notes higher than the original dub actor for Maciste, and introduces himself like he’s on a phone sex line.

The onscreen cast are pretty bad, too.  The actors look like they belong in the ice age about as much as anybody in Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell belonged in the Hyperborean.  They’re all standing around dressed in fun fur and those cow rugs you can buy at IKEA, and they all look kind of awkward and embarrassed about it.  Maxus has an amusing henna pompadour and his primary facial expression is the ever-popular smug smirk.  The women wander around in fake leather miniskirts and bouffant hairdos like they have no idea what they’re doing here.  The cannibal tribe wear little horns on their heads, like they’re Vikings who haven’t invented helmets yet.

The monsters are unbelievably bad.  I can’t actually think of an adjective to describe how magnificently terrible they are. They’re the fakest, fabricky-est puppets I have ever seen in a movie.  The first water dragon Maxus slays looks like a cheap plush toy version of that thing from The Neverending Story. Another is represented by stock footage of what I think is a perentie lizard, which is only seen in a cutaway because they couldn’t be bothered to back-project it.  A three-headed cave dragon looks like a hand puppet you’d buy on eBay and leave a bad review about because it fell apart the moment you took it out of the box.  It looks like it’s made of construction paper and felt.  It makes The Loves of Hercules look like Jurassic Park.  The screencap doesn’t do it justice.  You’d need to see this thing in motion to truly understand just how stupefyingly shoddy it really is.

Oh, and despite the title of the movie being Fire Monsters, not one of these stupid things breathes fire.  I am both disappointed and relieved, in that I would have loved to see it but if they’d tried it on this budget they would probably have burned their sets down.

This delicious chocolate icing of badness is slathered on the rich, gooey cake of what actually happens in the movie, almost all of which is ridiculous.  Maxus fights a bunch of boneless water serpent creatures while the camera pays loving attention to his crotch.  There’s a bit where several people theatrically lose their balance on a log bridge and fall into the ravine one after another, and it’s funnier every time.  Maxus and his love interest get buried up to their necks as a form of punishment and people stand around throwing things at them but never hit them because nobody in this movie can aim.  Then they’re freed by a random earthquake that just happens to split the ground right where they are.  I was staying with my parents at the time I first saw this movie, and to keep from waking them up in the wee hours with my laughter I had to munch pillows like a vampire wedding night.

But I’m not here to laugh – or at least, not only to laugh – I’m here to analyze.  Believe me when I say that very little in Fire Monsters against the Son of Hercules merits analysis, and even less is intended to be analyzed.  The movie tries to set up a dichotomy between the two tribes. Our heroes, the Sun Tribe, worship fire and the sun god, live outdoors in wattle huts, and hold religious observances during the day.  The bad guys, the Moon Tribe, worship the moon goddess, wear seashells and live in caves around an underground river, and sacrifice at night.  Sun/Moon, Fire/Water, Day/Night, Peace/War, Light/Darkness, and to some extent Male/Female.  It’s a list of opposites, so simplistic that I really can’t think of anything more to say than just to write them out.  I doubt any deeper meaning was intended by it.

If I want something to actually talk about, Maxus never has an arc (I guess being the son of a demigod, he’s already perfect), but some of the minor characters do.  The young chief of the Sun Tribe is supposed to be growing into that role, though he leaves most of the actual heroing to Maxus and it’s unclear how old he’s supposed to be (Luciano Marin was thirty-one when the movie was released). There is an interesting bit where he rails at the sun god for his misfortunes and is warned against it, but whether the gods actually exist or are active in this universe remains mysterious.  It is true that a convenient eclipse halts a series of sacrifices, and that Maxus is saved by the volcano, but these could just be coincidences.

The odd thing about these two events, now that I think about it, is that while among the humans the Sun Tribe just want to live peacefully while the Moon Tribe wants to make war, their gods seem to have the opposite idea.  If the eclipse (portrayed by effects people who clearly have no idea what an eclipse of the moon actually looks like) is the goddess’ doing, it is a frightening but peaceful intervention.  Her worshippers asked for a sign, and she sent one that she does not approve.  If the volcano is the work of the sun god, it is a catastrophic event that destroys the Moon Tribe’s home and livelihood, and kills many of the tribesmen.  Not to mention that the main villain dies when the solar idol falls over and literally crushes him.  Who’s advocating violence now?

I’ve gotten distracted, though.  Getting back to the characters – the Sun Tribe’s leader is secondary not only to Maxus, but to Moa, the deposed rightful leader of the Moon Tribe. Moa probably gets more screen time than any other single character, and has the best claim, after Maxus, to main-character-hood.  Her father and brothers have been murdered by the evil Fuan, who now wants to cement his claim to being legitimately in charge by marrying her, but she can’t stand him.  I think she’s supposed to be one of those Strong Female Characters, but if so she’s a pretty half-assed effort.

For starters, while her introduction makes a big deal of her lost inheritance, she never does anything to try to reclaim it until Maxus turns up inside the caves. You’d think she could nurse a rebel cell biding its time or something, but all she does is sit on her shapely bottom and refuse to marry Fuan.  I’m left with the impression that while she may be the obvious genetic heir, she actually doesn’t have any support base. The rest of the Moon Tribe prefers Fuan for some reason, and she’s left to sit there and pout and wait for a man to save her.

At the end of the movie, Maxus tells Moa that her job now is to make peace between her people and the Sun Tribe.  One might expect the usual trope in which she does so by marrying the Sun Tribe’s leader, who is much more polite and less hairy than Fuan.  He’s already got a wife, though, and saving her from the sacrificial block was a big part of his motivation.  It’s no surprise, then, that Moa instead chooses to walk off into the sunset with Maxus. I guess she’s learned that nice girls don’t want political power.

That’s all pretty lousy, but the rest of the movie is all so deliriously fucking awful that there’s no point in taking it seriously, even as an example of shitty gender politics.  Give this one a watch if you can.  It’s a guilty pleasure, but a pleasure nonetheless.